We've come a long way since the days when tying notes to a bird was considered an efficient form of communication, and while texting might be one of the best ways to communicate, there's still plenty to complain about.
Despite the best efforts of scientists around the globe, we haven't been able to invent a phone that can filter out all the things you find annoying.
We may one day live in a utopia in which such things exist, but until then, we're going to have to deal with a lot of stuff that nobody likes to deal with.
There might be people out there who enjoy getting these texts, but I don't trust a single one of them.
The Hungover Surprise
Waking up with a splitting headache and 17 unread texts is never something you want to experience when you wake up in the morning.
It especially isn't something you want to experience when all of the texts are about a regretful thing you don't even remember doing.
The "Call Me"
Having someone essentially use your phone as a pager is one of the biggest red flags there is.
One of the only times you want to see "call me" pop up on your screen is when you're doing a cover of a Carley Rae Jepsen song at karaoke.
The Unexpected Ex
A lot of people pledge never to contact their exes after going through a breakup, but a lot of people also drink to get over a breakup, which can create a vicious cycle that's almost impossible to escape.
This can create awkward situations, and you should do you best to avoid it at all costs.
The URN (Unknown Random Number)
It's pretty easy to deal with a text from a wrong number, but an URN is another monster entirely. When it's obvious the person you're talking to knows you somehow, you have to tread lightly if you don't want your cover to be blown.
This can occasionally overlap with The Hungover Surprise.
Every once in a while, you'll get a text from someone you know that wasn't actually sent by that person. Sometimes it's because that guy lost his phone and a kind soul is doing what he can to find its rightful owner.
Other times, the reasons are less wholesome.
In my opinion, "haha" is the most offensive four-letter word a person can ever use. Say what you will about "sh*t" and "f*ck," but nothing cuts deeper than saying something you genuinely thought was funny only to be met by one of the least thoughtful things a person can text.
The Inappropriate Medium
When texting first came on the scene, some people were hesitant to stop using their phones as phones, but over time, we've come to realize that typing on a tiny screen is truly the most efficient way to communicate.
Unfortunately, some people forget that there are certain situations in life where a phone call would be more appropriate. Hopefully, you don't have to deal with too many of these.
Back when messages were firmly capped at 160 characters and cost 50 cents to send, you had to choose your words carefully before hitting send.
Now that those barriers have been broken down, it's understandable that people will want to take advantage of their newfound freedom.
I'll admit it's nice to avoid the series of buzzes that accompany a flurry of texts, but I like avoiding texts that take up my entire screen even more.
A long-winded text can be invaluable when harnessed correctly, but most people tend not to do that.
This is kind of an obvious entry, and that's exactly why I included it. No one ever wants to get unsolicited offers for anything via text. I have nothing else to say on this matter.
The Lame Excuse
Everyone has that friend who always manages to come up with new and exciting ways to flake out at the last minute.
The suspense doesn't revolve around whether or not this friend is going to show up, but rather what terrible excuse he's going to use.
One of my favorite things on earth is the incredible disconnect between old people's perception of how their kids texts compared to how people actually communicate.
If you were to believe the local news, teenagers use indecipherable lingo and acronyms to hide their shenanigans from unsuspecting adults.
However, I've had a cell phone since middle school and in my experience, the only people that actually talk like that are adults who think that's how it's done.
They are the worst kind of people.
The Cryptic "Hey"
"Hey" by itself is an innocuous word, but nothing gets my heart pumping and my pores sweating like seeing those three letters alone in my inbox; 99 percent of the time it leads to nothing, but you only have to have a bomb dropped on you once to never trust it again.