This TBT, let's take a journey back to one of the greatest days of our lives. The day when we became whole again. The day we were able to finally break away from the oral chains that were holding us back. The day we got our braces off.
I remember sitting in the orthodontist's chair, eager with excitement, counting one by one as each bracket was removed. The second the deed was done, I sprinted to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I hadn't smiled that big since the first time I saw a pair of big old titties in the fourth grade (story for another time). Finally, I was free again, and I looked good.
Getting braces is one of the best-worst things any child ever has to do. It's really the first short-term sacrifice we make for a long-term improvement. Ultimately, our teeth will benefit from braces and we'll have the last laugh when we're the ones with the straight, pearly whites, mocking our buck-tooth 18-year-old friends. But, the two to three years we were stuck with train tracks running across our mouths were #Awkward!
The phenomenal feeling of relief you get from taking your braces off might even make the whole process worth it in the end. Sure, for a few years everything you ate for breakfast was stuck in your teeth until dinner, and you felt like a construction site was taking place in your mouth... but hey, puberty is an awkward time anyway; it all blended in!
Remember how different some people would look post-braces? Some people took literal 180 turns once you could see their teeth again. That random metal-mouthed band geek all of the sudden became a solid prospect in the dating game. No longer were you distracted by other people's multicolored rubber bands, turning their mouths into rainbows of disgust (Halloween was the worst!), you could actually see how people looked. Comparing people's looks during the braces era and post-braces era are two completely different animals.
Girls go from this ....
*I'd have sex with Katy Perry even if she didn't even have teeth...
The most ideal time to get your braces off was the summer before high school. New school, new smile. You could walk around the high school and turn heads like never before. There's nothing worse than still having braces in high school, though, nothing! It's pretty much social suicide 101. While braces are ironically somewhat "cool" in middle school (because every other kid has them), in high school, they scream nerdfest.
Remember how cocky you felt the first time you saw your friends post-braces? You couldn't stop smiling at everyone wherever you went. You literally just stood there with a dumb look on your face, waiting for people to compliment you. And if they didn't notice, you did everything in your power to make sure they did.
So today, let's all be thankful that we're no longer metal mouth freaks. Let's reminisce about how happy we were that day we were finally liberated. The day where we all yelled, "OMG it's so smooth!" and couldn't wait to go up to that girl we had a crush on and ask her to finally give you a hand job (what, just me?).
Smile on, America. Happy Throw Back Thursday!
Side note: If you still have braces, sorry for this painful article. Your time will come soon. Like Mufasa once said, "one day Simba, all of this will be yours."