Children are a veritable gold mine for comedic material: Without the mental filters to keep them from breaking social codes, they're apt say to what they want, when they want. The results of this reality are typically hilarious, if occasionally mortifying for the parents.
As such, the Internet is ripe with parent-authored “sh*t my kids say” articles — but one dad is flipping the script in the best way possible.
After fathering five boys in a ten-year-period, Nathan Ripperger decided it was about damn time to share his stories with fellow frazzled parents. So he created an illustrated book documenting all of the “funny, absurd, and downright bizarre” things that he's said to his sons in response to their odd requests and even odder behavior.
Released today, “Things I've Said To My Children” is 96 pages of pure relief for every parent who's wondered if theirs is the only child to regularly stick Goldfish crackers up their butt (the answer, as demonstrated by the book: Nope).
Take a look at some of the illustrations, below, and pop on over to Penguin Random House to order the book (available in hardcover for $15 or as a digital download for $10).