My earliest memory of using slang words occurred on AIM chat. (For you younger readers, this is equivalent to Facebook Chat. For you really young readers, this is equivalent to the text part of Snapchat.)
AIM chat is where it all happened. It's where my buddies and I asked each other “wass ^” and responded “nmjcu.” My favorite slang at that time was "PIR" (parents in room).
My friends and I would notify each other if our parents were present in order to keep our culture away from them. I just wasn't ready for them to see me ask Jennifer if she liked anyone in our class more than a friend.
Slang does more than just help us discuss culture, though. It is culture. Youth culture is bolstered by the use of slang words. They act as timestamps separating the new from old and the cool from the uncool.
It is important to know the current day's street lingo. But, there is one thing worse than not being up to date on new slang: using words that have already been played out.
Part of what makes new slang cool is the fact that not everyone is using it yet. It's easy for a word to quickly become uncool if it becomes overused and mainstream.
So, that's where I come in. Imagine that 2016 is a party, and that slang words and phrases are the party guests. These ones aren't on the official list:
1. On Fleek
We had our fun with this one, but it's time we were honest and admitted that we knew it wouldn't last.
It's a poor man's “on point.” It's like the handlebar mustache of words: It works if you're confident enough to pull it off, but the majority of people who try it will end up looking stupid.
Supposedly standing for “before anyone else," everyone knows it's really just popular because it's "babe" without the second B. I get it.
I can't stand the word babe (just thinking about a dude calling his girlfriend "babe" in public makes me nauseous), and with the loss of its real meaning, I think it's also time we say bye to bae.
(I immediately hated myself for writing that last line, but I left it in because I keep it 100. Right, kids?)
I'd be OK with this phrase if it wasn't so grossly misused. To me, turnt is when you get so drunk that your body is literally turned. I need to see swaying, leaning and slumping before someone is declared turnt.
You and your girls did not get turnt. You took four shots in Becca's room and then ordered cheesy bread.
You and your boys did not get turnt. You took eight shots and then waited for Becca and her friends to get to the bar. They never showed up, so you went home and ordered cheesy bread.
This word was perfect. With the advent of social media, certain behavior trends became noticeable. This word was the best way to tell people they were clogging our timelines with unoriginality.
But, this word has been beaten so hard to death that calling someone else “basic” now makes you basic. If simply using a word automatically makes you the definition of that word, then I think it's safe to say that word has reached its end.
5. Netflix and Chill
Don't get me started. Just don't say this anymore.
I don't even want to give an explanation for this one. Thanks, Internet! Not only have you ruined a good phrase, but you have also made it impossible for me to get out of the friend zone.
6. Yas Queen
Someone please tell me why the Internet had to ruin this phrase so quickly. There are some iconic figures in our culture that drop such exquisite pieces of insight upon us common folk that the only appropriate response was a resounding, “yas queen."
Beyoncé is queen. Lady Gaga is queen. Madonna, Adele and Lorde are queen, queen and queen.
That Vine, Snapchat or Tumblr star is not queen. You probably thought I would end this paragraph with, "no queen," but I'm not that basic. Wait, sh*t.
This used to be a good way to show your desire for something, and now it's a good way to show people that you don't know what the definition of goals is.
This word gets the “Swag Danger Zone Award.” Remember the great run we had with “swag?” But, it became so prevalent in our everyday vernacular that it soon was used only to parody those who were still seriously using it.
That's where “lit” is heading. It's a good word in moderation. Tread lightly, lit. Tread litly.
Vibes is a great way to communicate your feelings about a person or situation, but it can also make you seem foolish if it is thrown around without precision.
Once in a while, it is totally OK to make people aware of the vibes you are getting. But, if you feel the need to vibe-assess everything you come in contact with, then everyone else hates your vibe.
This word fits great in our Internet tool belt, but it must be handled with care. This tool should not be utilized without a proper evaluation of the situation.
In the occurrence of a heated Twitter battle, I encourage you to let the winner know that what he or she said was indeed savage. It's completely appropriate to tell Drake that what he did to Meek Mill was savage.
But please, do not throw this term onto any war or words. I need to see a clear winner, insults that cut deep and hopefully a proclamation that this is the end of the loser's career. It's not savage unless there are blood, tears or a change of profession.
So, there it is. Sure, you might discount this list as just one “f*ckboy's” opinion, but I did put the word “official” in the title, so this list is definitely important. Swag.