28 Telltale Signs You're One Half Of A Completely Insufferable Couple
Love can make people do strange things.
While some can maintain a sense 0f self-awareness while in a relationship, too many people suffer a metaphorical brain injury when they fall head over heels that's capable of turning them into another person.
Insufferable couples have been around since the days when cavemen and cavewomen made little cave babies. Although it was possible to ignore them in the past, the digital revolution has made it so much harder to avoid their irrationally annoying quirks and tendencies.
If you've ever been in a relationship, there's a good chance you've committed at least a couple of the sins on the list below.
There's nothing wrong with that; you shouldn't care what other people think as long as it makes you happy (and you can't overstate the importance of learning from your mistakes).
With that being said, there's a limit to just how many transgressions you can commit before you become that couple. Nobody wants to be them. Try to avoid as many of these things as possible, and please help spread awareness anyway you can.
1. Your relationship has its own hashtag.
2. You've Photoshopped each other's faces onto the cover of "The Notebook."
3. You've purchased a prepackaged couple's costume from iParty for a Halloween party (unless it was the plug and socket set. That's objectively funny because it implies sex).
4. You've called your partner a word like "bae" without any trace of irony.
5. You use the word "we" more frequently than "I."
6. You've ridden a tandem bicycle.
7. Your average outing exceeds an average of three kisses per hour (KPH).
8. You split your meal into two equal portions as soon as the plate hits the table.
9. You can't remember the last time you had an ice cream cone all to yourself.
10. You sit on your partner's lap even if there's a seat available.
11. You post personal messages on Facebook like you still haven't had a chance to exchange phone numbers.
12. You send screenshots of texts you've sent each other to each other on Facebook.
13. You don't share any personal messages on Facebook because you have a joint account.
14. You use that account to announce your anniversary on a weekly basis.
15. You also have a Instagram account together... where you pretend to speak for your goldfish.
16. You won't just get f*cking engaged already.
17. You've made a mixtape containing multiple songs by Jack Johnson.
18. You also haven't been in an establishment that serves alcohol by yourself since the start of the relationship.
19. You haven't taken a single picture by yourself during that same span of time.
20. You've driven more than 15 minutes to a romantic location -- like the beach or a Taco Bell parking lot -- just to take a picture together.
21. You took that picture with a selfie stick.
22. You make sure everybody knows how great the sex is.
23. You also make sure people know all the details, regardless of whether or not they want to.
24. You have a go-to karaoke duet (it's probably something by The Carpenters, and you've definitely practiced it in your spare time).
25. You severely underestimate the volume of the argument you're having in the corner.
26. You've purchased a shirt that only makes sense if the other person is wearing his or hers.
27. You've worn those shirts together in a public setting.
28. You've done any of these things with more than one person. Seriously, what did we say about learning our lesson?