A thief stole a precious package from a woman's mailbox in Indianapolis, Indiana, and it became news.
The story caught on because, you see, the thief in question returned to the mailbox and left $25 as penitence, along with an apology note.
The original package? This dubious pair of pants.
As Fox 59 in Indiana put it,
This is a really weird story.
Yes it is, Fox (69 minus 10). It is indeed a really weird story.
It took less than a day for the thief to feel guilty enough to return with an apology note written directly onto the $20 bill.
The bill said,
Stole your pants. Felt sorry about it.
Apparently, this woman really loved this pair of pants, like, REALLY loved them.
She told Fox 59,
I had been searching for weeks for this certain pair, this certain pattern.
And needless to say, the apology note and the money was not enough to slake this woman's need for justice.
She said of the robber's note,
It's a great gesture and you felt bad about it, but it doesn't make up for the fact that you stole out of a mailbox.
She went on to claim,
If you're going to wear them, somebody is going to notice you're wearing them.
Pretty bold words from a woman who orders bold pants.
Anyway, there are several things that are bizarre about this story. The remorseful thief, sure, but also how much this woman is into this pair of pants. After all, she reportedly searched for these pants "for weeks," and then somehow found her way onto the local news in order to ask for them to be returned.
I'm starting to feel like those pants are made of cocaine (or mithril).
The Fox 59 anchor who introduced this story wears, at one point in the video, an expression that succinctly displays my own personal feelings on the matter.
Regardless of my feelings, through tireless research and yelling into phones, I have obtained a clear photograph of the remorseful burglar. Just a warning, some readers may find this photograph shocking.