Lifestyle

People Are Making Dial-Up Internet Noises And It's Absolutely Hilarious

by Alec MacDonald
Tumblr

For those of you not yet old enough to legally drink, let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, when the Internet was young, people went online by connecting to a phone line. This was called "a dial-up connection." Please make sure to write that down, because it will be on the exam.

And for some mysterious reason, in order to connect through dial-up, you had to first listen to what I can only presume is the sound of a computer having a hectic, digital orgasm.

It sounded like this.

We are now spoiled by lightning-fast connections, but I remember patiently waiting for five minutes as a picture of Britney Spears in a red leather onesie (yup, the one with the camel toe) loaded one pixel at a time.

Surprisingly, it just came out that over 2 million of AOL's customers (AOL apparently remains a thing) still use dial-up modems to connect to the Internet. I assume, as should you, these people are over 90 years old, or priests.

To commemorate those simpler times, a Tumblr called "People Making Dial Up Noise" recently popped up, and people are using their mouths and spit to try to simulate that digital ear-enema I remember all too well.

Honestly, I have no idea why I find this so funny.

Maybe it's because they are alone, in their rooms, quietly acting like idiots.

Or maybe it's because of how terrible some of these are.

Or it's that they are trying and failing to speak robot.

Although, maybe it's just that I'm relieved...

...that dial-up is dead and we are forever free from its clutches.