Even though humans first started cooking food over a million years ago, the process itself remains decidedly unchanged.
The act of grilling might be simple, but cooking things people will actually want to eat isn't as easy -- if you've ever been unfortunate enough to eat a steak cooked by someone who thinks "well done" is still too risky, you learn to respect those who know how to barbeque.
In my experience, there are a couple of ways to stand out when it comes to grilling.
The first is to spend decades experimenting with different types of wood, cooking techniques and flavor combinations in pursuit of perfecting one of the most primal cooking methods known to man.
The second is to spend more money than anybody ever should on a grill nobody really needs in the first place.
You know how some people buy unnecessarily flashy sports cars when they want to show off?
Grills are kind of like sports cars, only they can cook a steak.
You know what would make this even better? Charcoal grills.
"All aboard the Flavor Express! You're going to want to cover your eyes and mouth. It gets smoky."
A hog for hogs and hot dogs. What a wonderful world.
The ATG: All the danger of an ATV with the added risk of open flame!
This is either a dragon or a fire-breathing chicken. Let's go with the latter.
I wonder what they use to pull this trailer.
If you like this Cow Grill...
...then you'll love the Pig Grill! There's plenty of copper-colored irony to go around!
The Grille Grill. Levels.
Armagrillo. It probably hurt me more to write that than it hurt you to read it.
This grill is really... out of this worl-- nope. I'm not doing it again.
"I feel the need... the need. for. cheeseburgers."
Much like owing a European car with too much horsepower is useless if you don't know how to drive stick, owning a grill like this is pointless if you don't know how to use it. Always barbecue responsibly.
No matter what you do this summer, Miller Lite wants you to share it with the rest of the world. It doesn't necessarily have to involve you cooking a large steak on a grill shaped like an armadillo, but you get imaginary bonus points if it does.