The extent of my culinary knowledge comes from watching way too much Food Network when I should have been socializing in college, and I've slowly taught myself to make food I don't hate to avoid hating myself even more when I look at my bank account.
I don't, by any means, claim to be a master cook, but I do know there are a few standard recipes you really don't need to deviate from.
There might be a couple of variations, but like the "Point Break" remake taught us, sometimes it's best to never touch the classics.
For example, your most basic guacamole is a mixture of avocado, tomato and onion.
Depending on your taste, your can add extra things like garlic, lime, cilantro or jalapeños. You might have noticed "peas" are not on that list.
For reasons only known to God himself, The New York Times wants to change that:
Add green peas to your guacamole. Trust us. http://t.co/7imMY9c2ph pic.twitter.com/oeOMt2qgmh — The New York Times (@nytimes) July 1, 2015
The people made it very clear this should not be a thing. Ever.
.@nytimes One does not mix mustard and Twinkies because they are same color. — Bobby Blanchard (@bobbycblanchard) July 1, 2015
.@nytimes put Miracle Whip on your New York pretzel, trust me https://t.co/uu0gkoMSrr — David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 1, 2015
@nytimes this is literally the whitest tweet ever — Brett (@Brosner85) July 1, 2015
We are living in truly bizarre times.
Peas in guacamole?! We fought two world wars and invented a space program so we could have this world? WTF. — Wil Wheaton (@wilw) July 1, 2015
A Texan wouldn't have tolerated this nonsense.
There were no peas in guacamole during the Bush administration. — jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) July 1, 2015
As another Bush said before him: This aggression will not stand.
You don't put peas in guacamole https://t.co/kG3ewrVv6f — Jeb Bush (@JebBush) July 1, 2015
Apparently, guacamole is the only thing politicians can agree on. Mexico, thank you for bringing Americans closer together.
respect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic. https://t.co/MEEI8QHH1V — President Obama (@POTUS) July 1, 2015