On Mother’s Day, I call my mom and lie to her. I say her gift is in the mail. Apparently, the USPS is the most ineffective method of delivering packages because my presents always get lost en route.
Mom, if you are reading this, what I just said was a joke. Making jokes is my job. And remember, jobs are good. Jobs keep me from moving back home.
OK, now that I’ve successfully Jedi-mind tricked my mom, I will introduce this video from Sarah Silverman’s ex-boyfriend -- you may know him as Jimmy Kimmel.
In the video above, Kimmel convinced mothers to say what they really want on Sunday. Apparently, they don't want scrawled notes that read, "u da best mom in this apartment building." I guess they'd prefer Ben Affleck’s huge weiner.