Melania Trump's Hilarious Tweets Are Low-Key The Best Things You'll Ever Read


Melania Trump made headlines last week when a section of her speech was clearly plagiarized from a speech given by Michelle Obama years ago. The alleged speech writer admitted to the plagiarizing, but claimed it was accidental. And Melania continues to insist that she had not known about it.

Regardless, Melania has been thrust into the public eye. And, because I am an important journalist, I decided to aimlessly scroll through her Twitter while eating my lunch and trying not to fall asleep. What I found there absolutely delighted me.

Melania Trump's Twitter feed is extremely weird and tremendously fascinating.

Bye! I'm off to my #summmer residence #countryside w#weekend — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) May 29, 2015

It's hard to tell what percentage of her peculiar idiosyncrasies can be attributed to her foreignness, or to her living the life of an actual queen, or to her just genuinely being an odd person, but whatever the proportions, it's highly entertaining.

Some of her posts are exactly as confusing as they are intriguing.

What is she thinking? — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) August 10, 2012

Sometimes, the posts are oddly poetic.

We had colorful & silent visitors in the sky last night... — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) July 27, 2013

And sometimes they are terrifying...

...stop fucking staring at me, duck.


This is one of my favorites.

Last #Night — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) May 14, 2015

But as I scrolled through these, I began to pick up on a weird pattern: She takes the same photographs over and over — most notably, pictures taken out of plane windows.

@NYC Washington DC — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) April 25, 2015
Business trip to #Washington DC w/ @realDonaldTrump — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) March 24, 2015
over #Manhattan @CentralParkNYC @nyc — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) February 27, 2015

Seriously, this makes up like 65 percent of her Twitter.

#Manhattan from the sky #home — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) March 29, 2015
✈️ Manhattan — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) January 28, 2015

There is literally an endless number of pictures that look exactly like this.

✈️ landing in cloudy & rainy @nyc — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) March 30, 2014

And when it's not photographs of her looking out of plane windows, it's just pictures of the inside of the plane.

Landing — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) March 25, 2015
#sunset — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) November 7, 2014

Honestly, guys, I'm beginning to get really worried that Donald Trump makes Melania live in a plane.

Ready to take off! — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) October 10, 2013

The next thing really specific thing that I noticed (because I have absolutely too much time on my hands) is that she can't stop taking pictures of beads of rain on windows.

Rain @NYC — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) October 22, 2014

It's her favorite thing (after, of course, literally anything to do with planes).

fifth avenue @nyc #architecture — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) December 6, 2014
Icy view — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) February 2, 2015

Again, this entire article could just be 100 more pictures exactly like this.

@CentralParkNYC #fifthavenue @nyc — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) April 30, 2014

And this.

#home @nyc — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) April 7, 2014

And this.

Snow storm @nyc — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) February 13, 2014

And this.

Morning rain in @nyc @CentralParkNYC #Friday — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) December 6, 2013

Also, if you go back only a few years, you see Donald Trump when he was still just a guy on a reality show.

Watching my husband @realDonaldTrump shooting @ApprenticeNBC boardroom. Who will be fired? — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) October 20, 2012

But most wonderful of all, considering what happened last week, is this unfortunate exhibit from the social media archive.

Always trust yourself, think for yourself, act for yourself, speak for yourself. Be yourself! — MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) October 25, 2012

Speak for yourself, indeed.

OK, I've been looking at Twitter for absolutely too long. You know what they say, when you stare into the Twitter void, the Twitter void stares back at you — and then says something homophobic.