All my close friends know that it's my dream to enter a strip club with a pocketful of Monopoly money just to make it rain (before promptly being escorted out).
But this? This is too much.
Stephen Gidcumb was arrested on May 13 after he decided to get himself a lap dance at a strip club in Michigan's Kochville Township and pay with fake money.
Unfortunately, the faux currency wasn't from the Hasbro game.
But wait... This story involves a man named Gidcumb, a stripper and Kochville Township? This already sounds like the beginning of a porno.
After he decided to give the stripper a counterfeit $100 bill, he decided to plead guilty in August.
Better to come clean, Stephen. Ew. Stop. I didn't mean it like that.
Gidcumb (I just had so many shivers) now faces one years' probation for uttering and publishing counterfeit notes and carrying a concealed weapon.
Ew. Stop. No, not that kind of weapon.
Oh, and that fake Benjamin he dropped? Yeah, he's going to need to pay that stripper with an actual $100 bill.
Sorry, Stephen, but using a green piece of paper that says "THIS IS MONEY. NO, SERIOUSLY IT IS... NO LIE" won't work either.
Stephen told the judge involved with his case that his actions were "completely out of character," but police found more fake currency at his home that were made on his computer.
Look, we've all seen the movie "Blank Check," but come on, it's not that easy.
Or is it? Let me test out my Photoshop skills. (Three hours later...)
Does this look real to you?
Yes? No? Hello, are you still reading?