Guys: If you see James Harden today, wish him a speedy recovery from all the epic third-degree burns he just received, courtesy of the internet.
Pics of James' new Adidas signature shoe have circulated online. I have to say, the footwear looks like it was wrought by an Italian cobbler sometime in the 1500s.
Twitter had some extremely savage remarks about the bootylicious shoe that's set to be released in December.
Although, to be fair, it looks like James has managed to get in some positive product placement:
Speaking of Disney, not even the Blue Fairy could turn this thing into a "real" sneaker.
I think the only item of clothing these shoes would go with is a floor-length pajama shirt.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I found out these sneakers were made with Harden's excess facial hair, of which there is puh-lenty.
Wait: Did George W. Bush already get a pair?
If Michael Jordan got magically shape-shifted into the form of Harden's signature shoe, I imagine he'd be this depressed.
Are Harden's shoes bad, or are they just drawn that way?
OOOOOOOH. WHAT LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?!
JAMES. HAR. DEN'S. SHOES.
This sneaker might lead to a major about-face at every shoe store.
It says quite a lot when WALL-E – a robot that routinely deals with and sometimes collects trash – does not want your shoe.
The sneaker design is truly monstrous.
In his defense – which is probably much better than his defense skills on the court – this could very well be an early prototype.
I guess time will tell if we'll all be walking around in the same shoes actors wear in "The Crucible."