If Hillary Clinton Tried To Appeal To Young Voters In Other Decades
Despite primarily relying on rich donors and people who have too much free time on Tuesdays to get elected, politicians have to act like they're genuinely interested in the needs and concerns of the entire population if they want to get into office.
One of the unfortunate side effects of this phenomenon is potential candidates will do whatever they can to appeal to groups they don't really understand or care about in the first place.
This is especially true when it comes to “the youth,” a scary and mysterious block of voters who politicians have traditionally relied on to show just how out of touch they are through their shameless pandering.
Barack Obama was one of the few politicians to successfully relate to younger voters when he ran for president in 2008, and based on her Nae Naeing, uber-Internety Snapchat account and recent "SNL" appearance, Hillary Clinton has set out to do the same thing.
I spent most of last night's debate waiting for her to point at Bernie Sander's shoes and yell "WHAT ARE THOSE?"
I'm not trying to suggest Clinton is the only candidate trying a bit too hard to appeal to younger voters, but compared to politicians who have actually been successful in doing so, her efforts come off as a little too forced.
I decided to imagine what it would be like if Hillary ran for office in other decades. I'm sorry in advance for the nightmares these pictures might inspire.
Outfit Of Choice: She'd still wear pantsuits. They'd just be a lot more fashionable. Awkward Dance Moment: Forgetting a step while doing the "Macarena." Notable Television Appearance: Playing a city councilwoman on "Seinfeld" who institutes a new recycling policy that makes George Costanza yell loudly. Cool Campaign Swag: A Tamagotchi that requires you to keep her campaign alive for as long as possible. Cool Campaign Slogan: Hill' Is Chill™
Outfit Of Choice: A wide variety of multicolored windbreakers. Awkward Dance Moment: Spraining her neck after attempting to spin on her head while breakdancing. Notable Television Appearance: A customer who has a thinly veiled discussion about much-needed changes to political policy with Sam Malone on "Cheers." Cool Campaign Swag: Her own version of Simon called "Hillary" where players are forced to memorize the order of campaign issues instead of colors. Cool Campaign Slogan: Only Airheads Don't Vote For Hillary™
Outfit Of Choice: Whatever that is. Awkward Dance Moment: Poking someone in the eye while discoing to The Bee Gees. Repeatable Television Appearance: Trying to get Fonzie to change his catchphrase to "HillaRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!" on "Happy Days." Cool Campaign Swag: Pet Rocks named "Hillary Flinton." Cool Campaign Slogan: HillaRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY™
Outfit Of Choice: A rotation of florals and all tie-dye everything. Awkward Dance Moment: Twisting when she should have shouted (and vice versa). Notable Television Appearance: Screaming her head off for The Beatles like everyone else in attendance at "The Ed Sullivan Show." Cool Campaign Swag: Tabs of acid with her campaign logo on the back. Cool Campaign Slogan: Hillary Is Groovy, Dude™
The Early 1900s
Outfit Of Choice: Skirts below the ankles. Awkward Dance Moment: Repeatedly stepping on her partner's toes while tangoing. Notable Television Appearance: N/A. Cool Campaign Swag: Branded snuff tins. Cool Campaign Slogan: Vote For Me Because I Can't Legally Vote For Myself™