These sex toys are to penises what the Terminator is to a human... with a penis.
At some point in the past few years, sex toys stopped looking like more efficient versions of natural human appendages and started looking like creatures you’d see in giant glass tubes located in the science labs of evil doctors.
Not that this is a bad thing. We use science for everything else, why not use it in our sex lives?
If Monsanto can engineer a 50-pound raspberry, sex toy research and development departments should have every right to figure out the best ways to get people “there.”
So, more power to you! If putting a vibrating boat rudder attached to the business end of a novelty-sized lipstick tube feels good on your genitals, then you should be allowed to put a vibrating boat rudder attached to the business end of a novelty-sized lipstick on your genitals!
Excelsior! (It’s not weird I yell “Excelsior!” after anything dealing with sex, right? Wait! Where are you going?)