Sure, we've all wanted to get back at our exes after a bad breakup.
But this guy took it to new heights when he called the police to report his girlfriend was keeping his hamster hostage.
The distraught pet owner also told police his ex was overfeeding the hamster, leaving him looking like a "fat little pig." He demanded consequences.
The call was received by police in Northumbria, England (basically the middle of nowhere), and it was one of many emergency phone calls released to the public that remind people only to call the police if there is a real emergency.
But even with that, the man on the phone call sounds genuinely distressed.
The man explained,
Me and my girlfriend split up a while ago, like. And she's got my hamster... but she's not giving it back. She says, 'I look after him better than you,' but that's not true. It'll end up like a fat little... a fat litte pig.
But, he was careful not to hurt the critter's feelings, either:
No disrespect to that little hamster. But it's my pride and joy.
The distraught owner revealed that during their breakup, his ex-girlfriend took his hamster, but failed to take any of the bedding necessary to clean out the cage. He explained he feared for the animal's health.
The man cried into the phone,
I need him back. I love him.
And if you think that's the only ridiculous call received by the Northumbrian Police Department, then you are wrong.
Disaster struck once more when a woman's burger had more spice than she had anticipated:
Hiya, we're in a restaurant, like, a cafe. I've ordered a pure beef-burger, but it's got too many spices, and I'm allergic to spices. What do I do? Can you come over and take it back?
The policeman seemed unfazed by such a silly request:
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. It's a civil matter.
And if you thought that burger situation was stressful, then you will be shocked by the next one.
Another caller reported,
I need someone to come to my house. My finger is stuck to my toilet.
The policewoman asked how it happened, and he simply responded,
With a shoelace.
The man then tells the policewoman that his toilet is also flooding:
It's going mental.
The next time you think someone is wasting your time over the phone, just think about the Northumbrian Police Department.