Guy Called 911 Because His Girlfriend Wouldn't Give Him Any Ass

by Stacey Leasca

Here's a list of real emergencies worth calling 911 for:

  • Your house is on fire
  • You're on fire
  • Someone near you is on fire
  • Your house was robbed
  • You were robbed
  • Someone near you was robbed

You get the picture.

Something not worth wasting a 911 emergency operator's time on? Your girlfriend not giving you any ass.

But that's just what 53-year-old Patrick Doggett did.

According to a police report, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Doggett called 911 on Tuesday after his girlfriend, Faye Woodruff, refused to have sex with him.

When the police arrived, Doggett was reportedly sitting on the porch drinking an alcoholic beverage. The police report adds, at some point, Doggett turned to the house and yelled, "F*ck that bitch!"

When asked for her side of the story, Woodruff said Doggett had been drinking all day. She added, Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but, as the police report notes, “she had her grandchild with her.”

In the end, Doggett was arrested for public intoxication and got no ass whatsoever.

Citations: Man, 53, Calls 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him (The Smoking Gun)