Lifestyle

You Can Now Text Your Enemies A Bunch Of Goat Pictures For Less Than $2

by Connor Toole

Thanks to the Internet, people can now make more money doing minimal amounts of work than they could at any other time in human history.

Getting rich is as simple as buying gummy penises or a bunch of cow poop and offering your services to people with vendettas.

However, most people don't have adversaries they hate strongly enough to justify dropping $15 on a bag of fruity dicks, which can be particularly annoying when you're only trying to mildly inconvenience someone you only mildly dislike.

Thankfully, we now have Goat Attack. At just under $2, the service texts multiple pictures of goats (and terrible goat puns) to anyone with a US number, proving we're truly living in the most glorious of times.

The process is simple: Enter the number of your unsuspecting victim, then decide whether you want to send six or 14 messages (there's really no option but the latter).

I just did it to my girlfriend, and I'm happy to report it works exactly as advertised.