This week, let's take a ride back in time to the the past...all the way back to 2009. As I was hanging at a Halloween party, rocking a Larry David costume (and it was awesome), a group of girls walked into the room I was in. Clearly a bit buzzed and overly-friendly, one of the girls, wearing what looked like a pair of booty shorts, a bra and cat ears, approached me and said: "Guess what I am." My impulses got the best of me when I responded: "I don't know...a slut?"
She actually giggled at my quick-witted response. "No silly, I'm a kitty." She then proceeded to giggle again, take more shots, and most likely sleep with one of the guys at the party. Classic college Halloween party. What I really wanted to respond to her was, "just because I can see your pussy, doesn't make you a cat." I was at least able to hold that back (though I probably whispered it to some friends before pounding more brews and continuing to pretend I was Larry David). This is what Halloween has become.
Remember, growing up, how much you loved Halloween? It was a day when you got to dress up like one of your favorite fictional characters and run around with your friends, going house to house asking for candy. Now Halloween, or as I refer to it "Hall-HOE-ween," is nothing more than a day when every girl finds an excuse to dress like a slut, throw on one costume-like item (example: cat ears, construction hat, puffy tail) and get blackout drunk. From KitKats to kitty cats, this holiday sure has changed a lot.
So what is it about Halloween that has managed to bring on such a risqué reputation? Why is it about this holiday that makes girls choose to dress so inappropriately? Why not on Christmas? Why don't we see slutty little elves running around the Christmas tree? Or why not Thanksgiving? I'd love to see a promiscuous turkey gobbling away at some dick (did I really just write that sentence?).
Maybe because Halloween, unlike most of the other holidays, isn't a "family holiday." Families don't get together and have a big family dinner on Halloween (unless you're witches, of course). Though the word Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve, is of Western Christian origin, few consider it to be a religious holiday today, giving another reason girls may feel it's okay to choose this holiday to be the slutty one.
As a guy, I can't lie and say I don't enjoy the way girls dress on Halloween; it's definitely sexy -- well most of the time. There are those girls who show a bit more than I'd like to see, looking a little more like a gorilla than Jane. But hey, it's her Halloween, she can look like a beast if she wants to! I just don't understand what happened to our favorite childhood holiday. How evil witches and Disney princesses transformed into slutty construction workers and naughty teachers.
Sign me up for this class!
I took the Elite TV team down to the annual New York City Halloween Parade to ask some of the participants for their opinions on the matter. There responses were great!
So this year, ladies, maybe consider putting on an extra layer or two. Be Pocahontas, as opposed to Slutty Pocahontas. Remember, being creative and funny is sexy too. At least I freakin' hope it is!
Btw this was my Larry David costume:
I don't know about you, but I'd say it was pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good...