At some point in her mysterious superhero-like past, Kylie Jenner went through a metamorphosis: She went from being a thin-lipped, super-rich-and-famous kid to a full-lipped, super-rich-and-famous kid.
Apparently, all you need to become a 17-year-old sexy person is artificially full lips and a society that doesn't mind sexualizing minors (we did it, America!).
Kylie insists her full lips are 100 percent natural, so I'd like our readers to take a look at this photograph and decide for themselves.
This weekend, the hashtag #KylieJennerChallenge started popping up on Twitter and Vine.
Teens were trying to emulate the reality TV star and plump up their own lips by sticking them into cups and water bottles, which tends to make them swell.
The results aren't exactly red-carpet ready.
Unfortunately, it seems everyone failed to understand that there's a very big difference between “having naturally full lips” and “making your lips explode by abusing them.”
They wanted to look sexy, but all they succeeding in doing was looking like sad fish.
"Finding Nemo" is her fashion inspiration.
I feel like I'm watching someone's face melt off.
Some of the results are literally cartoonish.
When the lips go down, severe bruising occurs.
But it's worth it...
...to look this beautiful.
Similar techniques for fuller lips include...
...punching yourself in the mouth...
...cosmetic bee stinging...
...injecting your lips with cholera...
...and, of course, all the high-end "allergic reaction boutiques" popping up all over the country.
People say teens are misunderstood. I don't think that's true. I think I understand them perfectly. They're fish. They live under the sea.