People Can't Get Enough Of This Firefighter's Hilariously Honest Obituary

William Ziegler was a veteran New Orleans firefighter. He passed away on July 29, and his children wrote him a touching and hysterical obituary that is going viral.

William Ziegler was, according to his family, famous among friends for his sense of humor, so his children decided to write his obituary honoring that sensibility. Now, according to NOLA.com, it's been shared to over 13 million people on Facebook.

Honestly, the obituary is so amazing I'm going to put it at the bottom of this post in full. If you have a second, read it. You will not regret it.

But if you don't have that kind of time, let me pluck out a few of the obituary's best moments.

First of all, Ziegler's obituary starts off with a bang.

“William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election.”

It then chronicles his time in the military, before becoming a firefighter, which he was for over two decades.

“After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired.”

Finally, his family gave some instructions for how to remember him.

“Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but well-wishers are encouraged to write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor.”

The family said the joy the obituary has been garnering online helped them through the tough time.

According to NOLA.com, Ziegler's daughter, Sharah Currier, who helped write the obituary, said,

Being able to laugh in the face of death is not real common. And it's not easy to do. My brother said this was our last gift to our father. He would have been floored by this.

Read the full obituary below. It's not that long, you lazy slob. Just do it. It'll make you happy.

I can only hope to be sent off this hilariously and gracefully when my time to shuffle off this weird stage comes.

Here's the obituary in full:

William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election. He leaves behind four children, five grand- children, and the potted meat industry, for which he was an unofficial spokesman until dietary restrictions forced him to eat real food. William volunteered for service in the United States Navy at the ripe old age of 17 and immediately realized he didn't much enjoy being bossed around. He only stuck it out for one war. Before his discharge, however, the government exchanged numerous ribbons and medals for various honorable acts. Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman. After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired. Looking back, William stated that there was no better group of morons and mental patients than those he had the privilege of serving with (except Bob, he never liked you, Bob). Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but well-wishers are encouraged to write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor. He was never one for sentiment or religiosity, but he wanted you to know that if he owes you a beer, and if you can find him in Heaven, he will gladly allow you to buy him another. He can likely be found forwarding tasteless internet jokes (check your spam folder, but don't open these at work). Expect to find an alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet. Unlike previous times, this is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends. He assures us that he is gone. He will be greatly missed.

Citations: Firefighter William Ziegler's funny obituary touches readers around the world (NOLA.com), William Ziegler (NOLA.com)