Lifestyle

This Is What Donald Trump Probably Thinks About The Golden Globes

by Lauren Ireland
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This morning I heard about yesterday's Golden Globe nominations.

As I, Donald Trump, your Republican Presidential Candidate hopeful, have said time and time again: Let's make America Great Again. And in order to do that, we have to eliminate all potential ISIS threats to American safety, like the Golden Globes.

What are the Golden Globes? I'm not quite sure, but sites like Wikipedia tell me it's a time to honor "filmmaking" in television and film from domestic and "foreign" markets.

After over 40 years doing business in this great land, I know when to call a "spade" a spade,  and "foreign markets" a threat to the American public.

You're a big fat loser if you think "foreign filmmaking" isn't going to infiltrate your homes.

You say "yes" to the British Starz television series "Outlander," watch it and the next thing you know, you're watching the BBC 2's miniseries "Wolf Hall." Then suddenly you're pledging allegiance to ISIS.

The only way to break this chain is to shut it all down.

So, we must say no to ALL movies.

"But Donald, not all movies are bad!"

Wrong. ISIS is bad, so if some TV shows or movies are foreign, then we need to eliminate potential threats by association. We have to shut down Hollywood. No exceptions, we have America to protect.

There are millions of American lives at stake, so the choice is yours: Either shut down the entertainment industry or wake up in 2027 to your children living in the new radical Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant "America." So do you think tuning in to see who voted for "The Danish Girl" is worth it? I didn't think so.

I don't care if "Mad Max: Fury Road" is a domestic film nominated for the Globes, by association it's still a terrorist threat, even though Charlize Theron is my type of woman. Really my type of woman.

Take for example the US domestic film "Carol." Dumb.

Real loser of a movie -- two chicks in love? I don't want to see that. So we shut it down, and it's a win-win for everyone. No ISIS, no film about not-at-all very smart people. It's an easy solution. Also no gay stuff.

So pledge with me: No movies. No TV. No Hollywood. No "golden" "globes."

Let's make America great again.