Dear Donald Trump, Here's What You Need To Know About Your Eating Habits
Dear Donald Trump,
I find you and your eating habits pretty offensive, especially because you claim to be so healthy.
Listen, Mr. Trump, I don't want you to win. I don't think you will win. But seriously, maybe you should focus less on making America great and more on making your eating habits great.
Because if you keep up your diet the way it is now, Bernie Sanders is going to outlive you... and he's old.
Look, you're no spring chicken. Even though the thought of you being elected makes my skin crawl, you'd be the oldest president at inauguration, right ahead of Reagan. Yeah, you have to start watching it, or else.
Apparently, your doctor claims if you were elected president, you'd be the healthiest one to date. I find that hard to believe.
For one thing, President Obama even works out when he's traveling. I highly doubt that someone like you has the time to work out between, you know, writing all those ridiculous tweets and stuffing your face with ice cream.
Do you know how much sodium and how many calories are in that taco bowl? Also, I highly doubt Hispanic people eat anything close to this Americanized version of their native foods.
Mr. Trump, I know airplane food sucks, but so are the consequences of eating McDonald's too often. The only thing you'll be celebrating is not having to get bypass surgery if you continue to eat like that.
You know, I read a lot about health, and I've never read anything about pork chops on a stick being good for you.
In fact, I don't think anything you can get at a carnival, fair or sporting event is good for you. Do you ever eat salad?
Everything is OK in moderation, Mr. Trump.
I know information about how healthy you are is floating around out there, but maybe you should see a new doctor or nutritionist. You know, one who isn't too scared to be honest with you.
The truth is, you eat worse than my younger brother who is a 22-year-old bachelor.