Pray to God cowboy boot sandals don't become a thing.
Beach cowboys are a proud-but-mostly-ignored subset in American culture.
I'm talking about those who can wrangle up the cattle before the sun goes down, but also know when it's time to hang 10 and kick it by the beach.
Yup, life for the hombre with a surfboard is a mostly simple one, except for when it comes to footwear.
When beach cowboys need to get some new kicks, do they compromise on beach-ability for a horse appropriate boot, or vice versa?
Now, they don't have to do either. Presenting, the cowboy boot sandal.
The rugged exterior of a cowboy boot, the airy freedom of a sandal and the showstopping horror of watching a circus lion maul its trainer in the middle of a show.
I'm not even 100 percent sure how to react to these things.
Sandals are OK and cowboy boots are fine, but the two should never be paired up.
What?! @blakeshelton would be so disappointed. #CowboyBootSandals pic.twitter.com/PWWX8QwXby — Karina (@Karina_Marlene) June 16, 2015
I like cheese and I like birthday cake, but you're insane if you think melting a slab of cheddar cheese on a slice of red velvet works in any way, shape or form.
Here is the thing, though: Cowboy boot sandal owners could not be happier about their new footwear situation. They're not only wearing them out, but they're wearing them proud.
@EarlDibblesJr Gettin' country drunk in Cancun in my sweet cowboy boot sandals. pic.twitter.com/a7GNkD3iMU — Ryan Wilson (@RyanSkinny) April 13, 2014
If you're looking at these shoes and muttering under your breath, "God, I gotta get me somma those boots," you can purchase them for $50 (plus $25 for shipping) on the Redneck Boot Sandals Facebook page.
So go forth, cowboy boot sandal owners!
Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening and strut your unholy boot-sandal-DNA-hybrid-crossbreed like the world isn't judging.