BIC Pen Employee Responds To Customer's Complaint That Pen 'Only Draws Massive Cocks'

Anyone who's ever been to school knows what BiC pens are. They've pretty much become a staple of education around the globe.

What I bet most people don't know about BiC pens, however, is the hilarious sense of humor some of its Advertising and Promotional Products team members have. Upon receiving a complaint letter that must have claimed that a purchased pen "only draws massive cocks" (the letter was not included), a BiC employee decided to one up the letter with an even more hilarious response letter.

For those of you with precious eyes:

Dear Mr. Harrison,

Thank you very much for your letter bringing our attention to your faculty BIC pen. We produce 1.7 billion BIC pens in different varieties every year so unfortunately we cannot test each and every one.

Having spoken to our team of engineers, we cannot ascertain why one of the medium point BIC crystal ball point pens that you purchased "only draws massive cocks." We have never heard of this occuring previously and we couldn't recreate this anomaly so we can only assume that this pen was temporarily possesed and we will drop it off at a local church for exorcism.

Hopefully it won't accidentally end up next to the marriage register.

We are sorry to hear that this pen ruined your Grandmother's Birthday card and that you must now sign for credit card purchases by "penning an enormous phallus." Luckily, Chip and Pin is prevalent throughout the UK.

As an apology, I have enclosed 5x fine point BIC Orange stick pens for your usage. I have personally tested each one for erroneous genitalia production and these seem to be OK.

Yes, the pen lids are very good for scratching in your ears and blowing through the lids is a great way to annoy people. No, we have never received any reports of our orange BIC disposable razors shaving penises into things.

Many thanks, Edgar Hernandez

Advertising and Promotional Products

Does it get any better than that? You meet humor with even more humor, resulting in one of the greatest customer complaint resolutions of all time.

If this situation is true, major props to BiC for handling the situation so comically. They could have been much bigger dicks about it... Please note this letter is by no means an official document, this is just a forged document used for humoristic purposes by Internet users.

H/T Reddit