The 7 Stages Of Serious Wi-Fi Withdrawal
In our gadget-obsessed world, the trials of living an everyday life without internet access can get pretty rough.
Yes, we laugh at reality stars who struggle to overcome their first-world problems on the small screen, but when we find our devices lacking those three curved bars of connectivity reassurance, we quickly realize we're no less diva than the spectacles on our televisions.
Fortunately, you're not alone as an internet junky on the verge of a full-fledged tantrum every time you lose your Wi-Fi connection. In fact, Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is a real-life psychological problem that affects as many as 420 million people around the world!
Because this problem is so trivial yet so common, why not enjoy a little laugh at its expense? Check out the seven stages of Wi-Fi withdrawal to keep yourself in check with the ability to make light of your next lemon-ridden, Wi-Fi-lacking situation.
1. Shock And Denial
Whah?! No. They're messing with you. What's the password? You know they have Wi-Fi. Everyone has Wi-Fi. It's a basic human need, no? You'll just keep refreshing your available networks page. Surely, something will pop up.
2. Pain and Guilt
How will you live without the joy of scrolling through your Instagram feed every five minutes? You have made a terrible decision to come to a place without first checking its Wi-Fi status. You knew Delta was the better option. They never fail you on inflight Wi-Fi.
3. Anger and Bargaining
OK, this is straight up BS! Does anyone have cell reception? Perhaps a hotspot you could bum some connection from? Someone better cough it up or this phone is going through the window! OK, maybe that wouldn't affect them so much, but you need someone to make this terrible situation right again!
4. Depression, Reflection And Loneliness
Will you ever speak to anyone in the outside world again? You're probably missing so many Snaps and let's not even get started on the texts! And the emails… the emails are for work. You sure did love your job. You'll definitely miss it once it's been lost due to your lack of response to the obviously urgent emails you're receiving right this moment.
5. The Upward Turn
Well… you did tell people where you were going. Plus, no one actually calls anymore and most expect a delayed response from text.
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
Perhaps not being available to check calls, texts, snaps and emails could actually be a good thing. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? People will think you're too busy to answer. Ya… busy, maybe even “in demand." Has a nice ring to it!
7. Acceptance and Hope
YOU.CAN.DO.THIS. You will make it through this Wi-Fi blackout and on the other end will be a glorious moment of checking mountains of texts, emails, snap, and missed calls.
One day, the three curved Wi-Fi bars will return to your phone. One day, there will be lemons from this lemonade. In fact, that will probably be in just a few hours.