Tonight is "The Bachelor" finale (!!). My executive editor Emily and I are completely obsessed with the show. This season is her first time ever watching it, and I've been an avid fan for several years, so we always bring a different perspective to our weekly Tuesday freak-outs over what happened the night before.
Today is a special day because our regular Tuesday freak-outs are happening on a Monday. We simply can't hold in our excitement for what's in store this evening. Here's what we hope happens tonight.
ALEXIA LAFATA: I just know Lauren B is going to win. Do you think she's gonna win?
EMILY MCCOMBS: I'm not sure anymore. But I hope the pigs come back for the final rose ceremony and mow down JoJo like they did in the Bahamas. And I want Ben to realize he made a huge mistake and surprise-picks the girl with the mini-horse.
AL: I hope Olivia shows up and insists on referring to Ben as "my husband" for the millionth time.
EM: OK I asked my boyfriend and he just texted back and said, "I’d like to see Olivia come crashing out of the woods to declare her newfound love for Ben after being Robinson Crusoe-d on that island."
EL: He also said, "I would also accept the camera panning over Olivia's seagull-picked skeleton on that lonely beach."
AL: Ugh, I honestly feel bad for Olivia. "Women Tell All" was brutal.
EM: So, I've heard Chris Harrison usually has a bigger role than he did this season. But I think of him as someone who just sort of appears and then evaporates back into the wall. I hope that we actually see him ... what's the word?
AL: I hope he materializes in a really crucial moment. Like when Ben can't decide who he loves more, so Chris Harrison just appears in a white robe surrounded by clouds and tells Ben who to choose.
EM: I hope Ben tells five more people that he loves them.
AL: And then I hope they all JoJo him. [JoJo (v): confusingly ask "What?" after you are told "I love you"].
EM: I hope that Ben's mom cries again about whoever she picks.
AL: I hope BEN cries about whoever he picks. Just based on the previews, it seems like he's gonna cry a lot. So hot.
EM: Oh, there's still that weird unexplained phone call... where he's on the phone and it sounds like he's calling someone back
AL: I think he's calling whoever lost (*cough* JoJo) to say "I still want you in my life," like some horrible f*ckboy ex.
EM: I hope Amanda's kids show up and kick him in the nuts. Especially that little one who didn't like me. Also, Lace. Just Lace.
AL: We all want Lace.
Tonight, I will be live-tweeting The Bachelor on the Elite Daily Twitter account! Follow along with me as I yell at Ben for saying "I love you" to two women and then ultimately ruining one of their lives because seriously, f*ck that sh*t.