It is a truth universally acknowledged that dating sucks right now. There have been endless think pieces, podcast episodes, and TikTok storytimes about just how awful the current scene is. At this point, everyone’s got a horror story — no matter their gender or sexual orientation — but women who date men seem to be having an especially difficult time. Last year, they developed a new term for their attitude toward romance: “heterofatalism.” There’s only one antidote that might save them: Ted Lasso Season 4.
On Aug. 5, the sporty series made its long-awaited return to Apple TV. It stands as one of the few Bechdel test-passing shows that straight men actually watch and openly fanboy over (the proof is in all the Ted Lasso and Coach Beard Halloween costumes). In the latest installment, the core values of teamwork and decency are still in the show’s DNA, while the focus has shifted to a women’s soccer — ahem, sorry, football — team.
Even before this new female-focused season, the show had a reputation for uplifting its women characters. In seasons past, the women were not objectified or portrayed as the butt of a joke in the name of “locker room talk.” In fact, whenever a man (like Rupert Mannion) was outwardly disrespectful, he was seen as an unmitigated piece of sh*t — and was called out for his poor behavior by the other men. (If only the real world operated the same way.)
Meanwhile, Rebecca Welton and Keeley Jones were fully fleshed-out characters with their own interior lives and high standards. In turn, the men gave these women their due respect. Even better? They encouraged them to expect more from the other men around them.
In Season 2, Roy Kent delivered an iconic line to Rebecca after meeting her nice, but bland boyfriend. After Keeley enumerated his pros (“age-appropriate, “financially appropriate,” and “not shy” — a real triple threat), Roy have his unfiltered take:
He's fine. That's it. Nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. But it's not about him. It's about why the f*ck you think he deserves you. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by f*cking lightning. Don't you dare settle for fine.
At first glance, this quote looks like something a rom-com lead might say to his heroine, while secretly pining for her. But it’s actually better than that. Roy had no romantic interest in Rebecca. He had no ulterior motive in saying this. He just genuinely wanted her to see her own value.
While dating today seems to encourage women to settle for the bare minimum in their romantic partners, this type of speech does the opposite. It not only reminds them to recognize their worth, but for men to notice it too — and to treat them in kind.
Fingers crossed that Season 4 will have more of these feel-good moments that help the dating world seem a little less bleak.
