YouTube

This New Pokémon Go Hack Is Perfect For Lazy People Who Don't Want To Walk

By
Rusty Cage on YouTube

Pokémon Go is hyper-modern in the sense it offers users an augmented reality experience other apps can't deliver, but it misses the mark on modern life by asking users to be even remotely active.

You want us to walk? Around? ON OUR LEGS?

Sorry, but it's 2016. I didn't link four credit cards to a Seamless account so I could stand up, move my body and get things for myself.

Fortunately for users aspiring to become members of the armchair race from “Wall-E,” YouTuber Rusty Cage found an easy way to gain mileage without moving.

Initially, Cage attaches his phone to the spokes of his bike in an effort to inch closer to hatching Poké-eggs without walking for eternity.

YouTube

Sadly, this method still requires him to crank the bike pedal with his arms and, considering our arms are the legs of our shoulders, this is a deal-breaker.

Next, Cage tosses his phone on a record player.

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His avatar looks ridiculous walking in circles but ends up making some serious progress while Cage kicks back and does absolutely nothing.

For those of you without access to the obsolete technology required to follow Cage's lead, he recommends tying your phone to the ceiling fan for the same effect.

YouTube

Moments like these, when ingenuity and laziness come together like poetry and sleeping in English class because poetry is so, so boring, are the proudest of our generation.