All us young people know who TF Jonathan Cheban is.
He's Kim Kardashian West's longtime vacation barnacle and self-professed #FoodGod.
Don't believe him? Then I guess you haven't seen this pic of him with a pizza.
Or these lobsters.
pic.twitter.com/XkIaNqqn91 — Jonathan Cheban (@JonathanCheban) June 17, 2016
Or THESE lobsters.
Or THESE lobsters.
Woke up to this on the yacht on way to ibiza pic.twitter.com/IIElWX6xmp — Jonathan Cheban (@JonathanCheban) June 15, 2016
Not everyone respects Jonathan's status, though, namely domestic kween Martha Stewart.
Martha gathered her vast reserves of shade, collected throughout her years in the industry and her brief stint in federal prison, and tweeted a pic of J Chebs to Daily Mail US asking if the publication knows who “this guy??” is.
Savage, Martha! GIVE US MORE! DO NOT STOP, MAMA!
Some Twitter users, including DMUS, attempted to answer the question…
@MarthaStewart @DailyMail @MailOnline He's @KimKardashian bff — Theresa Crescenzi (@teecres1) June 22, 2016
…while others sat back and enjoyed watching Martha drag Jonathan behind the homemade chariot she crafted from toilet paper rolls, Elmer's Washable Glue and smoldering chaos.
@MarthaStewart DRAG HIM LEGEND — Me. I Am Frank (@FrankHorowitz) June 22, 2016
@MarthaStewart @DailyMail @MailOnline I AM CHOKING — Dan (@idkidk) June 22, 2016
@MarthaStewart @DailyMail @MailOnline throwing shade like it's SUNNY pic.twitter.com/zm0qXZJ3iv — Saint (@TeenSuccubus) June 22, 2016
@MarthaStewart @DailyMail @MailOnline pic.twitter.com/JOAtvS1nt4 — Saint (@TeenSuccubus) June 22, 2016
Not one to leave anything unresolved, Martha kindly let the world know who the living F Jonathan Cheban is in a follow-up tweet that served as a friendly reminder our fates are all in her hands.
May no act of God or man ever drive this woman off the internet. Martha, bless us all.
UPDATE, 4:00 pm: Jonathan posted a photo of the pair trolling the whole damn internet from a cozy spot at a Daily Mail event at the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity.
Despite the whole thing being a shitty ruse, Martha still gets festival points for creative shade throwing. Never change.