Hi, my name is Katie, and there are three things you should know about me.
First, I one time ate an entire pizza by myself. This has nothing to do with the story I'm about to tell you, but it's a fun fact and I'm proud of myself. So cheer for me, bitches.
Second, I absolutely hate my hair. When I was in seventh grade, I got a haircut from a Spanish salon in Harlem and they gave me bright blonde highlights and emo side bangs even though I didn't ask for either.
I left crying and the next week at school everyone called me "Piss Head." Get it? Cause it looked like someone peed in my hair.
If you don't believe me, check out this old-school Myspace photo. It's the only "Piss Head" pic I have left, since I deleted/burned/buried the others.
WHY AM I PUTTING THIS BACK ON THE INTERNET?
My ex-boyfriend was in that pic, but I cut his face out so he doesn't sue me... again.
THIRD (sorry, got sidetracked), Kylie Jenner is my fucking girl.
But now I get paid to write about them every day, copy their looks and steal their styles. IT'S THE BEST. I love you, girls. Follow me back. Haha, seriously.
Now that you all know me better than anyone else, let's get to the meat of it.
In middle school, I really fucked up my hair. After "Piss Head," I dyed my hair black and cut it super short because I was going through something, OK?
My hair is naturally very curly, but I didn't think I looked cute unless it was straight. Years of using a hot iron ruined me. My hair was dead, thin and falling out.
I was already an ugly teenager, but now I looked like Peter Pettigrew mid-transformation. I repeat, not cute.
Since those dark days, I have done everything I could to restore my hair and add some life back into those locks. I've used expensive hair masks, homemade remedies and essential oils.
I've visited the hair salon every few months, even though they spend 10 minutes shaming me for how dead my hair is. FUCKING GET OVER IT, PEDRO. LEAVE ME ALONE.
But the only thing that's truly worked for me is taking hair vitamins. I started taking Nature's Bounty Hair, Skin and Nails gummies a few months ago, and they were life-changing.
So when I realized Kylie Jenner has her own favorite brand of gummies, I obviously had to check them out.
The Kardashians, along with several other famous celebs, swear by SugarBearHair gummies.
The site claims they give you the healthiest, longest hair possible by adding nourishment, strength and elasticity.
They also are shaped like little teddy bears, so I felt like a monster biting their heads off.
After trying Kylie Jenner's SugarBearHair gummies for three months, I can confirm my hair grew. SIX WHOLE INCHES, BABY. Your girl is back.
NEED PROOF? I'mma hook you up.
Here's the deal. I got a super short haircut in the beginning of February.
The only picture I have to show how short it was is probably the grossest selfie ever. I sent it to my friend after getting home, looking in the mirror and realizing I looked like a prepubescent boy.
JUDGE ME, HATERS. This is me in my natural habitat.
Stop staring at my beautiful face and pay attention to my hair. It barely goes past my shoulders. I asked for two inches off, and Pedro took six. Screw you, Pedro.
But check out this recent pic of my hair. LOOK AT THAT LENGTH. LOOK AT THOSE LUSCIOUS DEAD ENDS!
Yeah, um, my hair definitely grew a lot, but it was still dead AF.
I told you guys, though, I'm addicted to my flat iron. I can't seem to give up the heat, so, of course, that plays a big factor.
I also straightened it for the photo to show you how long it actually is. Just tryna be honest and vulnerable to my closest million friends.
In the end, did my hair grow? Yes. Was it because of the SugarBearHair gummies or because three months had passed? Unclear.
Keep in mind, though, my hair never grows. And if you don't use hot tools, think about what this stuff can really do.
All I know is Kylie Jenner loves these gummies, so I love them, too. Thanks for everything, bestie.
Oh, I'm not a hair expert or a dietitian or even someone with a great sense of judgment. I'm just a girl who hates showering, eating healthy and staying sober.
If I'm a role model in your eyes, feel free to follow my guidance.
PS. This isn't the first time I've tried a Kardashian-approved product. Check out my other experiments below.