Ten days left to shop for a better gift than what your SO will buy you, because Christmas is a competition and only the weak will tell you otherwise!
While I may not "have a girlfriend" or "any prospects" or "know how to talk to women without crying," I do know Christmas can be an insanely stressful time.
Not because of meeting your SO's family or because it's freezing outside. But because you have to figure out what to get your bf/gf/thrupple as an appropriate Christmas gift.
Whatever you get needs to be thoughtful, somewhat expensive, at least a little useful and, most importantly, better than whatever they got you.
The only way to do this is to get into the psyche of whoever you're currently shtupping, and the best way to do that is to analyze the shows they watch.
If you suck at analyzing Netflix queues to understand people in an effort to find them gifts, don't worry. I got your back.
Here is your holiday gift guide based on what your SO watches.
I'm gonna go ahead and assume your SO still wears sneakers to work if they're watching "Adventure Time." Why not merge the two?
"Game of Thrones"
Granted, it's not even remotely close to an all-robo boink festival, but hey, you're trying your best here.
I don't watch this show so I have no idea what this means, but my co-worker Anna said this gift makes sense.
Just get them waffles. Best case scenario, they love it and they share some waffles.
Worst case scenario, they hate it and you get to eat their waffles. Either way, *toot toot* ALL ABOARD THE WAFFLE TRAIN!
"Making a Murder"
Chances are, if you're watching "Making a Murderer," you're into crime. Bad crime.
"The Firm" is a classic, and if someone catches you reading it on the subway, there is a good chance that person will say, "Is that 'The Firm'? Nice. I liked that book," before going back to minding their own business.
Once again, I did not watch this show. I hated “Friends.” That being said, I know that coffee is a thing in it (right?).
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians"
Honestly, this painting I found deserves to be featured in The Louvre. Clearly the curators there are "Vanderpump Rules" fans, so you can go ahead and hang this in your SO's apartment.
GO FORTH AND DOMINATE CHRISTMAS!