Entertainment

This Is How My Life Changed After I Binge Watched 'Game Of Thrones'

by Joseph Milord
HBO

They never tell you about the perils of binge watching a show like "Game of Thrones."

Nope. It's always only good things. It's always:

I don't even have to make plans for this weekend, this is so great! OMG, I don't even know how I can watch week-to-week after this!

Well, I do. I know how I'll handle waiting for every Sunday to come for my next dose of "GoT" -- I'll do it with gratitude and sanity, two things I lost after binge watching five and a half seasons of what I'm certain is the most batsh*t crazy series ever to hit television.

Catching up on "Game of Thrones" has seriously messed with my head, especially because I watched all 55 episodes in only two weeks.

Life is different now. I find myself only able to view it through the show's prism. Here is how my life has changed since I binge watched "Game of Thrones."

I can no longer go by Joseph Milord, and now everyone at the office knows.

Joseph Milord

I treat my co-workers like the politicians of King's Landing.

I'm here to counsel my Editor-in-Chief when need be.

I'm ready to throw anyone under the bus because I'm sure one of these miscreants are about to stab me in the back at any minute.

I see drama as an opportunity.

I can't have a conversation without using the parlance of the Seven Kingdoms.

My speech is not as modern as it once was.

I now call my mother  "M'lady," my friends are referred to as "Ser" and everyone outside the Metropolitan area might as well be "free folk."

I'm constantly contemplating what my family sigil should look like...

(And house motto.)

...because I've thought about legacy more now than ever before.

I'm now certain I know where hell is.

I've learned never to get too confident before I finish a job.

I finally understand all the sports/"Thrones" references I've been missing out on.

I still haven't fully recovered from the trauma of the Red Wedding (I'm not sure if I ever will).

And I'm worried this will show up in my dreams.

I can no longer walk around my home when the lights are off.

For the night is dark and full of terrors.

And, worst of all, I can't walk away from any of it.

Hate to admit, but I've got a full on throner.