The 10 Meanest Insults From 'Dodgeball' That You Can Use In Your Everyday Life
It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since the release of "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story." The movie is a modern day comedy classic, and features two humorous heavyweights, Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn.
Even though the movie came out in 2004, I still find myself quoting it and referring to it all the time. Like, I use an unhealthy amount of lines from that movie on a way-too-frequent basis.
That's because the ridiculous and hilarious premise of the film opens it up for some real quality zingers. Everyone in the movie is so over-the-top that each can't help but make fun of the others.
So, on "Dodgeball's" 10th anniversary, we thought it would be nice to give you a helpful list of mean sh*t to say to your friends and enemies based on the movie.
Here are the top 10 insults from "Dodgeball" to use as often as possible in your everyday life. Spoiler alert: A lot of them come from Patches.
1. "You're about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop." - Patches O'Houlihan
This one can be used in a myriad of situations. You might be trying to fix your car or move out of your apartment and your idiot friends might just be standing around. Yell this at them, and they'll fall in line, right quick.
2. "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit." - Kate Veatch
This is a pretty useful little quip. It can be employed in a whole host of situations, like when you run into an ex or when your parents talk about their reinvigorated sex lives.
3. "Ouchtown, population you, bro." - Pepper Brooks
This is a pretty self-explanatory one. When one of your buddies trips or falls or does something stupid that results in bodily harm, add insult to injury and yell this at him when he's down.
4. "It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to f*ck a doorknob out there." - Patches O'Houlihan
To be honest, I don't know when you would use this one, but it's freakin' hilarious. So use it whenever the hell you want!
5. "Cram it up your cram-hole, LaFleur!" - White Goodman
This one's great because there really is no comeback for it. It's just a not-so-creative and ridiculous way to tell someone to shut up.
6. "Your adopted parents don't even love you." - Peter LaFleur
This can be used when you really want to cut somebody deep. Said person needs to have been an orphan at one point in time, so you've gotta really hate them to want to throw salt in that gaping wound. But, I say go for it! What's the worse that could happen?
7. "I love the smell of queef in the morning." - Patches O'Houlihan
This is a great one when you want to emasculate your coworkers first thing in the morning. Just stroll into the office, take a sip of fresh coffee and let them know that they're a bunch of pansies, before carrying on with your day.
8. "Joanie loves Chachi!" - White Goodman
This insult is for when your friends, who are dating each other, are being all gross and PDA-y around you. Tell them that sh*t ain't cool by dropping one of these.
9. "Your gym is a skidmark on the underpants of society." - White Goodman
You can insert any noun for "gym" with this one. For instance, "Your very existence is a skidmark on the underpants of society." See? It's a perfect fit.
10. "Go on and make your jokes Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker!" - White Goodman
OK, you should probably never use this one. But if you're caught off guard and can't think of a comeback, this might be a way to turn the tide in your favor. That is, if the people around you get the reference. And if they don't, just direct them to this post!
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