How The 'Bourne' Movies Changed My Entire Perspective On Love
I was watching "Jason Bourne" with my boyfriend in the cinema, with my head on his chest and our fingers wrapped around the other's hands. I felt deeply connected with him in the moment.
My heart was filled with a surge of love and gratitude. Tears gathered in my eyes and rolled down gently.
He wasn't aware of the wave of emotion that hit me internally like a tsunami. In the middle of an action movie, I thanked God for the person next to me.
I am crazy. I am in love. I am thankful.
Through being away from my family and dealing with changes in my life, I realized that life is just an equation with many variables. But we have constants that hold us together and steer us through the uncertainty.
He stays with me without intervening or judging. He holds my hand and walks me through whatever life throws at me.
1. Love gives you reasons to be thankful.
It didn't matter what happened in your past; it's possible to have a partner who makes you an important part of his life and supports you in every way he can.
Life could punch you in the face. It may have thrown you into a maze, but it also brought him to you.
Amidst uncertainties and chaos, you still believe you are the luckiest person in the world because you met him.
You have so many reasons to be thankful, even when things don't work out as planned.
Remember: He wasn't part of your plan in the first place.
2. You need help, and that's OK.
Sometimes, you get scared of uncertainty. You're not sure what to do. Stress gets to you, and you miss being home.
I often have these kinds of emotions. Even though I told myself to be strong and independent, it was hard. I wasn't used to dealing with life all by myself.
Somehow, with him, it felt natural to open up and seek help.
It gives me strength knowing that we are in this together, and that we will figure life out as a team. When we open our hearts and embrace vulnerability, love can dissolve fear.
3. One plus one is greater than two.
Adam Grant talked about self-fulfilling prophecies in his book, "Give And Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success." He explains that we can bring the best out of someone by believing in that person.
Instead of perceiving the unknown as something dark and scary, we should look at infinite possibilities like beautiful flowers that are yet to blossom.
Big dreams always start with love. Someone sees something special in you, and empowers you with the belief that you can do something great.
If someone really loves you, it doesn't matter whether you shine like a star or hit a speed bump: The way the person looks at you will never change. The person you love will push you back up when you fall.
Nobody is perfect. But we could all learn to leverage one another's strengths in order to prosper in life.
4. Trust completely.
One time, my boyfriend was supposed to drop me to the airport, but we both woke up late.
On our way to the airport, I chose to sit back, relax and trust that he will do his best to get me there.
I didn't look at my watch until we finally reached the airport. We made it.
Trust will not change the outcome, but it WILL change the synergy between two people. It changes how we feel about one another.
I learned I could count on him, no matter what.
5. Love is the only constant in life.
Since we're growing every single day, change is inevitable. Change comes with uncertainty and judgment, and it almost always makes life hard.
When change kicks in, it crushes our confidence and messes with our beliefs.
The "Jason Bourne" moment reminded me that life is about much more than chasing after bigger and better things. We should appreciate the people we have in our lives.
Hold onto love like your life depends on it.
A version of this post was originally published on the writer's personal blog.