If you're not someone who watches "Elf" on repeat throughout the duration of December, then I'm not quite sure you have a soul.
Who doesn't want to dowse their holiday season with Buddy the Elf and his heartwarming, Christmassy antics like smiling and singing?
Buddy makes the holidays happier...
... or does he?
According to a bizarre fan theory that recently resurfaced, Buddy the Elf's Christmas spirit might not mean he's as "innocent" as we thought.
I know, you're probably asking yourself, "How could this be? Buddy the Elf is oozing in Christmas cheer!"
Well, thanks to a barrier-breaking Reddit user, Batfan54, you probably won't think Buddy is as sweet and sugary as you used to.
Metro found Batfan54's Reddit thread in which the user cited evidence from the movie that suggests Buddy is actually kind of a "sicko" trying to live out sexual desires.
In the post, the user focused on one scene in particular when Buddy walks in on Jovie -- played by Zooey Deschanel -- while she's singing in the shower.
If you're a part of the minority who doesn't watch "Elf" at least three times a week during the holiday season, I'll refresh your memory.
Seems innocent enough, right?
All Buddy was trying to do was sing along to his favorite Christmas tune, but we might've overlooked one thing: Jovie was butt-naked.
She was stripped of all clothing, and Buddy creepily sat outside the shower without her knowing. Later, he claimed he "didn't know" she was naked.
Likely story, Bud...
The Reddit user called the "innocent" elf out, writing,
Buddy, the sicko as he is, was actually trying to peep on Zooey while she was in the shower, and played his sick fetish off as innocence and just wanted to sing a Christmas song.
To prove the point further, Batfan54 pointed out more scenes that prove Buddy the Elf should be on the naughty list.
One of the iconic moments mentioned was when Buddy "brutally injured multiple children on their way home from school."
Remember that snowball fight? I have to admit, it looked kind of painful.
In case you aren't convinced Buddy isn't a sweet as we thought he was by now, the Reddit user reminisced about the moment Buddy got "horribly shit-faced on the job" by chugging alcohol that he thought was "syrup."
C'mon now, Buddy. Getting wasted at work is definitely frowned upon.
The last scene that's mentioned in the fan theory about Buddy's "innocence" is when he is at work and unknowingly uses his oblivion to "verbally abuse a man with a disability."
He calls the dwarf an "angry elf," and it's pretty fucked up.
So... I guess Buddy the Elf isn't so innocent, after all.
To end the thought-provoking holiday post, Batfan54 wrote,
Buddy is not the man you all thought -- he is a demented man-child that's using his 'innocence' to live out sick fantasies of abuse and sexual desire.
Looks like I'm never watching "Elf" the same way ever again.
OK, but wait. At the VERY end of the post, Batfan54 wrote,
It should be mentioned that I'm totally joking here, and this was just an amusing idea I had on the John.
It might be too late to take back.
Citations: There's a disturbing fan theory about Buddy the Elf and it might give you the creeps Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/10/theres-a-disturbing-fan-theory-about-buddy-the-elf-and-it-might-give-you-the-creeps-6313293/#ixzz4SSwf8JHu (Metro)