If you have an Instagram account and a set of functioning eyeballs, you've definitely seen something posted by The Fat Jew.
Josh Ostrovsky, established meme god and voice of this generation, has developed a personal brand unlike any other with the social media accounts he keeps under the name The Fat Jewish.
With almost 9 million followers, the 34-year-old personality takes your average, run-of-the-mill images and captions them with relatable, hilarious phrases or re-grams other memes that make you chuckle to yourself on your commute to work every morning.
In an effort to expand his presence off the internet, The Fat Jew made the switch from the URL world to the IRL world. He, along with David Oliver Cohen (AKA Babe Walker), created White Girl Rosé -- the official drink of *~betches~* everywhere.
Tonight, at an event hosted by Elite Daily at the Dream Downtown Hotel, The Fat Jew celebrated the one-year anniversary of his famous pink wine. The party was a wild, poolside fiesta complete with rosé slushies, female body builders in furry bikinis, a real tattoo booth and pink carpet.
I had the pleasure of sitting down with the TFJ himself to get the deets on what I have to do to get more than 702 Instagram followers.
Based on his sound and professional advice, I just really have to think about the lengths I am willing to go (and how much I'm willing to disappoint my parents and loved ones) to achieve my dreams of Instagram stardom.
If you too want to advance from your lowly 53 likes, listen to these words of pure wisdom.
What would you say the secret to becoming a social media star is?
Just, like, be an idiot. Also, if you put up pictures, just hashtag them with popular things that have nothing to do with your photo. Like if you put up a picture of... you know... I don't know... boobs? Obviously, boobs do well, if you're a woman… Then hashtag it, like #Syria, you know what I mean? #Oprah, #Iraq, #ISIS, just stuff that people are searching for. Then they're going to find your boobs in those feeds and they're going to follow you. Your follower count is going to go through the roof.
How did you establish yourself as a social media persona?
I was just doing stuff way before Instagram, just real-life weird stuff. And I started doing Instagram to put up stupid shit for my friends and then it just kind of snowballed from there. But like... Instagram is pretty boring. I like doing stuff in real life. I actually just drove cross country and ate at 50 different strip clubs and I'm reviewing the food.
How would you describe your personal brand?
It's like kinda slutty. Like, shitty Jennifer Hudson.
What would you say your biggest personal accomplishment is?
Actually, recently I went to the White House Correspondents' Dinner and met Obama and he said, 'I love this hairdo,' and I was like, 'Yeah, you should grow this when you get out of office, it's called the 'hairection.'' I said 'hairection' to the president, so I feel like that was a high and low point for America.
Do you ever block people on Twitter or Instagram?
I block people on Instagram, but for weird reasons. It's like, if you're going to troll, you gotta be good at it… don't come and be like, 'this photo's old, I've seen this meme before,' like don't be lame. Say something really truly horrible to me. If you're like, 'You're a giant 'Shrek' man and I wanna knock you out and give you a blowjob in a pool of blood,' I'd be like, 'That's very funny.' But, if you're like, 'Not your best work!!' I'm like, 'bye.'
So, folks, there you have it. All it takes to reach 8.7 million followers are random trending captions, doing weird shit and... boobs. I'll be spending the rest of my night contemplating my self-worth and deciding if this is a bridge I am ready to cross.
Pour yourself a glass of White Girl Rosé ASAP because we all know it's about to be a long-ass week.