Zayn Malik Says He Struggled With An Eating Disorder
Since leaving One Direction, Zayn Malik has not shied away from speaking honestly about his experiences with anxiety and depression.
In an excerpt of the book obtained by The Sun, the 23-year-old singer wrote about how he would go days without eating back in 2014, a few months before he left One Direction.
When I look back at images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was. Something I've never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder.
While one common catalyst for an eating disorder such as anorexia is the desire to lose weight to be thin, Zayn explains it wasn't like that for him.
It wasn't as though I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that. I'd just go for days – sometimes two or three days straight – without eating anything at all. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn't recognize it for what it was. I think it was about control. I didn't feel like I had control over anything else in my life, but food was something I could control, so I did.
However, this didn't make Zayn's eating disorder any less severe. He said as a result of not eating, he lost an unhealthy amount of weight, writing,
I had lost so much weight I had become ill. The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits.
The book, "ZAYN," was released today, and is described on the website as a "photographic journey" of Zayn's life, along with personal essays from Zayn.
Zayn himself described the book on his Instagram page as his "diary" and a way to "contextualize some of the moments and memories" fans have shared with him.
While Zayn describes himself in that Instagram post as "healthy" today, he has dealt with bouts of anxiety in the last year.
Earlier in the summer, he pulled out of a performance in Wembley Stadium in London only hours before he was supposed to take the stage.
Perhaps this photographic journey will give fans insight into those cancelations, as well.