We live in a world where the MILF reigns supreme.
Back in 1999, "American Pie" popularized the term, inspiring everyone from porn industry producers to the masterminds behind the 2003 pop classic "Stacy's Mom" to capitalize on the appeal of the MILF -- the Mom I'd Like To F*ck.
But what about DILFs? Why haven't DILFs received the same kind of spotlight?
What about Stacy's Dad, for God's sake?
It's time we recognize the sexiness of the DILF -- the Dad I'd Like To F*ck. Because DILFs exist in all shapes and sizes, all kinds of Ryan Reynolds and Tom Bradys and Chris Hemsworths, and I'm attracted to all of them. Here's why.
DILFs are diverse.
Actors, athletes, musicians, Christian Greys, oh my. DILFs are in popular culture just as frequently as MILFs are -- and they're just as diverse.
Let's take a look at some of the hottest DILFs out there right now.
Tom Brady and child:
Jamie Dornan and child:
David Beckham and children:
Matthew McConaughey and his Family:
Jamie Foxx and child:
Ultimate DILF Ryan Reynolds, pictured childless, but has a child:
Is your uterus in outer space yet? It should be.
DILFs are really, really hot.
See above for proof.
DILFs allow me to partake in a little healthy objectification.
I'm a firm believer in my God-given right to objectify men because unlike women, men don't live in a culture in which objectifying them leads to high rates of victim-blaming, sexual assault, rape and being valued only on their appearance.
We live in a culture in which objectification of women is damaging, whereas objectification of men is just... fun.
Admiring DILFs lets me objectify men while simultaneously not perpetuating the objectification of women. I get to enjoy some healthy objectification without feeling guilty about it. It's a win-win.
DILFs have already started taking over the Internet.
Whether DILFs of Disneyland or Your Daily Dose of DILF is your cup of tea, DILFs are already everywhere online. You can even submit your own DILFs through these websites, so the DILF has totally gone mainstream.
Thankfully, people are shamelessly indulging in the beauty of the DILF, so you bet your ass I'm going to participate.
DILFs embody unexpected gender roles.
As far as gender roles are concerned, we're so used to seeing women taking care of children, so seeing a strong, burly man hold a teeny, tiny child is shocking in the most wonderful, alluring way.
The mere sight of a large person holding something so small is enough to make my ovaries do backflips.
After they're done flipping, however, my maternal instincts might kick in, forcing me to wonder where the child's mother, the alleged primary caretaker, is. I'll admit that this is an unfortunate result of the gendered world I live in.
But maybe, in the case of this glorious DILF, the dad is the primary caretaker! Maybe this particular family splits up parenting equally!
Maybe this dad even does laundry and cooks and and cleans goes grocery shopping! Maybe this dad is a feminist!
Now I'm swooning.
DILFs are older and more mature, which is sexy.
I'm in my early 20s, but guys who are around my age are childish, so I tend to go for men older than me.
They're more on par with my level of maturity and my expectations for a relationship, which is why DILFs are perfect for me.
There's nothing like thinking about being with an older dude to take me out of the reality of the video-game-playing, sh*tty-beer-drinking, mom-needing bros I'm surrounded by on a daily basis.
DILFs allow me to project a fantasy.
Most men who are dads are probably already married, which means I'd be a terrible person if I actually went for one, despite the fact that, as previously stated, I'm pretty sure we'd be perfect together.
However, we always want what we can't have, right?
A huge appeal of the DILF is all the elaborate scenarios I can create in my head when I think about being with him.
The scenarios will probably never actually come to fruition, but it doesn't mean I have to stop fantasizing about them.
DILFs give us ladies something to love.
I understand in our culture, women are supposed to be looked at and men are supposed to do the looking.
I understand hot girls are thrown in movies and TV shows and music videos for the sake of having a hot girl, and that what she really has to say doesn't matter that much. I get it!
But I'd like to do the looking sometimes, thank you. It would be nice if, for once, a dude could just do nothing else except be hot. I'd like that.
That's why I love DILFs.
"Married" is a half-hour FX comedy series about Russ Bowman, bonafide DLF extraordinaire, and his wife, Lina. "Married" premieres Thursday, July 16 @ 10:30 E/P on FX. Watch the video here.