The Ultimate Drinking Game For The 2016 MTV Video Music Awards

It's VMAs time! Lez get DRANKIN'!

This Sunday, MTV is invading Madison Square Garden to honor this year's best music videos. Beyoncé, Kanye and Drake are all expected to have huge nights at the Video Music Awards while you, me and everyone else watching is expected to get pretty dang tipsy watching celebs pretend to not be sad when they don't win awards.

The only way to truly enjoy the VMAs, the way God and Viacom intended, is by getting absolutely annihilated. I'm talking about full-on liver-failure level boozy.

Here is the official drinking game for this year's event, so that when you're downing shots you are at least doing it with some semblance of order.

Low stakes one-shot things to look for. Guaranteed medium buzz.

  • You cry for a Beyoncé award win
  • You contemplate if you can pull off Future's hair
  • Someone makes a dumb Ryan Lochte joke
  • You see someone wearing something with “Calvin Klein” written on the elastic band
  • You have an in-depth argument about how small Ariana Grande is before just googling “How small is Ariana Grande?”
  • You make a joke along the lines of “Yeah, I guess her name should be Ariana Pequeña”

Two shots. Medium stakes. Gonna get you PRETTY sloshed.

  • Adele makes you stand and applaud
  • You cry for a Beyoncé award win
  • Drake looks at the TV and you get all blushy
  • Camera cuts to a Kanye laughing, he quickly notices and stops laughing
  • Some Mac Miller-Ariana Grande PDA

You need to take three shots each time any of these things happen. You will be OBLITERATED by the end of the night.

  • Rihana and Drake do some couple shit on stage.
  • You cry for a Beyoncé award win (6 shots total. She deserves it.)
  • Bieber makes his whole speech as an allegory about Selena
  • Calvin Harris gets booed
  • You find out your mom has been watching the entire broadcast thinking DJ Khaled's name is “Chance the Racket.” You have no idea why she could possibly think that's his name but you just accept it

Drink a whole friggin bottle of scotch

  • Taylor Swift comes out during Kanye time
  • Selena and Justin make up on stage
  • Aly Raisman calls Ryan Lochte a "talentless whiney child"
  • Live-action reenactment of the "Famous" video