Khloé Kardashian Says Sex With Tristan Thompson Is Mostly Just Physical

Try for once not to be a jealous beast when you hear about Khloé Kardashian's passionate, physical lovemaking with pro-baller boyfriend Tristan Thompson.

Just try.

For all of us.

Koko asked her team to research astrological compatibility for a post on her app titled “Just The Tip.”

In it, she tells subscribers,

'A love match between a Cancer and a Pisces is a positive meeting of spirits. Both signs are basically tolerant and sympathetic, and Pisces is easily energized by Cancer's ideas.' My dad, brother, Malika and Khadijah are Pisces, so it's not surprising that I get along with this sign.

Uh… yeah… so is Khlo's actual current romantic partner, Tristan.

She continues,

'Cancer and Pisces are almost always brought together by a romantic love. Their sexual connection is usually primarily emotional.' I don't think this is 100 percent accurate. Sex is obviously a physical act!

WOAH, all right.

Sex is physical, sure, but if there aren't emotional ramifications can someone please reimburse me the hours I spent in my high school health class, sitting through lecture after lecture about how sex can change a relationship while avoiding eye contact with every living thing in the vicinity?

It looks like Khloé's relationship with Tristan is still in the can't-keep-my-hands-off-you phase most couples hope to never grow out of, but always inevitably grow out of because time is cruel and love is fickle.

Then again, the two could decide any day now to pack up and leave this all behind.

Khloé already admitted, during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!", she loves the anonymity of Cleveland. She told the host about a trip to Target that left her thinking,

I love it! No one even notices me!

When Tristan isn't traveling with the Cavaliers, he can settle down in the Cleve with Khloé. They can meander through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and hum Creedence Clearwater Revival songs softly into one another's ears.

Just... consider it.