Blah blah blah Christmas Cheer blah blah blah yule whatever blah blah blah Tim Allen in "The Santa Clause." Ugh, boring.
Listen, Christmas is fun or whatever, but it's overplayed.
Everyone celebrates Christmas. Celebrating Christmas is like enjoying General Tso's chicken. Of course you like it; everyone likes it. It's made to be liked.
You get gifts, you hear some stuff about Christ and then you get to eat a large ham or something. Bing, bang, boom.
Minus unpleasant talks with your Trump-supporting relatives, Christmas is an easy yearly event to love.
You know what's not easy? Chanukkah. It's eight days long.
Imagine doing Christmas for eight days. Sure, three days in you'd probably be ROLLING in holly jolly cheer, but I guarantee after five days you'll be praying for a swift and wintery death.
This article is a tribute to all those proud Hollywood Semites who stick it out for all eight days.
NOTE: I fully get that I am now just listing a bunch of Jews and it's super Schindler-y. Let's just forget that for a hot second.
1. Seth Rogen
You can ride the "Pineapple Express," just not on Shabbos.
2. Natalie Portman
"A long time ago, in a synagogue far, far away..."
3. Paul Rudd
Dare I say the goofiest Jew in Hollywood?
4. Mila Kunis
More like "Bad Jewish Moms!"
5. Andy Samberg
Everyone knows the island from The Lonely Island is located off the shores of Tel Aviv.
6. Daniel Radcliffe
Can you do magic on holidays or is it like driving a car and turning on the lights?
7. Rashida Jones
This is the most Jewish GIF I could find.
8. Amanda Bynes
9. Jonathan Cheban
Food God still has to hit Rosh Hashanah services to pray to real god every year.
10. Zack Efron
...and his challah-board abs.
11. Dave Franco
It's only Dave Saturday night to Friday afternoon. Friday night to Saturday afternoon, it's David.
12. Jonah Hill
More like Jewnah Hill.
13. Gal Gadot
This Israeli dynamo was crushing it in the IDF before joining the "Justice League."
14. Jenny Slate
Marcel The Shell's proud Jewish mother.
Emily *tries to pronounce last name* is such an inspiration to the Jewish people.
16. Ezra Miller
There aren't many Jews *takes off cool sun glasses* better than Ezra. *"CSI: Miami" music plays*
17. Adam Levine
He's actually my cousin.
18. Scott Disick
The second Kardashian Universe member on the list.
Happy Chanukkah, you beautiful chosen people!