New Drake music can only mean one thing: updated lyrics for your white friends to use as their Instagram bios.
Drake's music means a lot of things to a lot of people, especially white people. I don't know what it is specifically about his lyrics, but he's like a modern-day Socrates or Freud to anyone who reassures you wayyy too hard that they saw "Moonlight" and loved it.
Remember how they'd listen to Eminem cor Ben Folds in high school and think the words came from God him/herself? Somewhere along the line, those two mountains of mayo were replaced by Drake who now releases tracks that double as caucasian gospel.
Over the weekend, Drake released a new mixtape and it has some pretty solid new lyrics for all those white Instagrams you follow to post for inspiration.
If you don't wanna listen to these new tracks but still want to grab a few lyrics for your own social media pages, here are some for you to steal for any occasion.
1. For when you're feeling classy but your name is Hunter.
Dom Rosé toast Hidden Hills where I post I start my day slow Silk pajamas when I wake, though
2. For when you're freaked out by "the game" but also go to Duke.
Passionate from miles away Passive with the things you say
3. When you want to date someone very badly but are worried about what side of the Hamptons she summers on.
"Get It Together"
You need me to get that shit together So we can get together
4. For when your lacrosse friends go to different colleges in Rhode Island.
People change, I'm not surprised Devil's working overtime Voodoo spells put on my life It won't work, they all have tried
5. When you wanna get married but it's also before Labor Day.
She wanna get married tonight But I can't take a knee, 'cause I'm wearin' all white Me and my broski are twins, but we don't look alike
6. When you tryna choose between having a baby and throwing a really cool catered party.
I could never have a kid, then be out here still kiddin' around Boys playin' around, where you really wanna take it now? I got a hundred fifty thousand dollars for an after party And I gave it to the killas just to break it down
7. When you hit black ice on the way to Vail for Thanksgiving.
No snow tires, the rain slip-slide like Trick Daddy and Trina Oli North pull in, like, 10 million a season
8. When you a Winklevoss.
No more 9 to 5, autopilot dri-i-ive Used to work the fries, now we supersi-i-ize
9. When you and your sister are both fighting for the same internship at your father's law firm.
That's when they smile in my face Whole time they wanna take my place
10. When you're Jerry Jones' son but you're also single.
"Do Not Disturb"
I don't have no time to be no Romeo All the love I need is at the rodeo
11. When your girl abruptly decides to end the date a full hour early even though you rented the Zeppelin until 9:45.
I still need some satisfaction A little less talk and a little more action
Enjoy updating those Instas!