Taylor Swift's Dating History In Infographic Form
Here are the odds that you become King of the Starbucks lovers.
Listen, we all wanna boink famous people. It's as close to a universal want as society will ever experience.
Rich, poor, Democrat, Republican, my mother, children, NHL players -- it does not matter. Everybody on the planet would likely have portions of their immediate family killed if it meant after you'd get a bone sesh with any of Hollywood's elite.
Think I'm crazy? Answer how you would handle this scenario:
Random billionaire with a love of game theory and a buttload of disposable income shows up to your house with a case full of money and the entire cast of "The Surreal Life."
The billionaire then tells you he's willing to pay off all your student loan debt OR give you a chance to spend a private weekend with your choice of "The Surreal Life" cast members.
What do you do?
If you didn't immediately go, "A weekend with Charo?!?! SIGN ME UP!" then you're dead inside.
The sad truth of the matter is, we all likely won't live out that dream. There are just toooooo many normal non-celebs out there.
Not all hope is lost, though! You may be able to sneak your way into the pants of someone famous, and thanks to Pokies and its celeb dating infographic, you can now try to figure out your odds.
The basic idea here is if you know a celeb's dating history you can do an OK job at trying to figure out what kind of people the person goes for.
What have we learned here?
Ronaldo is the Spanish Leo.
Katy Perry literally just dates people who you can't take home to your parents.
Justin Bieber mostly dates children.
Everyone Taylor Swift dated is the same person except Tom Hiddleston, who is 1,000 years old compared to those other dudes.
Rihanna is KILLING it.
Good luck with this info and trying to get some famous tush. Godspeed.