The newest season of Bachelor in Paradise is going to be lit. Even the teaser commercials are weird as hell, which I think is a little foreshadowing for the season. There's also going to be some great storylines: Will Dean fall in love? Will Raven find a man worthy of her greatness? Do Corinne and Taylor fight on Paradise? Who even remembers what caused the infamous Taylor-Corinne feud? Me. I do. Let me give you a little refresher so you can start the season well educated. You can thank me by sending lots of McDonalds via UberEats.
It all started during Season 22 of The Bachelor. Corinne and Taylor were vying for low-talker Nick Viall's love and affection. They may have won it, but I'm not sure — it's kind of hard to hear Viall. So, Corinne first crawled under Taylor's skin when she rented a bouncy princess castle for her and Nick to dry hump in during a pool party. After the pool party, Corinne felt confident enough in her standing with Nick to nap right through the rose ceremony. In her words, “Michael Jordan took naps.” Honestly, probably true.
A lot of Nick's season revolved around Corinne and Taylor. Episode 5 opened with the two ladies trying to hash it out. This is when Taylor flaunted her Master's degree and taught Corinne (and the rest of America) what “emotional intelligence” is. It was actually condescending AF. Corinne responded by calling Taylor a bully for “not saying hi to people in the morning.”
Ah, good times.
Then, we were all not shocked when Taylor and Corinne went on the dreaded two-on-one date with Nick. WHY DID HE HAVE HIS HANDS ON BOTH THEIR KNEES DURING THAT STRANGE CANOE RIDE?
For those of you unfamiliar with a two-on-one (which confuses me because you're elbow deep in a Bachelor Nation article), it's a date that starts with three people, but only two come out... alive. JK, the third is usually left abandoned on a mountaintop or beach somewhere.
The three went deep into the bayou and met a voodoo witch. Taylor was then awkwardly sent home. Corinne was actually pretty mature about the whole thing. However, it didn't end there. Taylor emerged more cleansed than ever.
She stayed in the bayou just long enough to have her spirit cleaned voodoo-style, and then crashed the remainder of Nick and Corinne's makeout sesh date. Just when I thought things were going to get explosive, Taylor took Nick outside and shared her side of the story. Then, that was it. Nick went back to making out with Corinne and it was like Taylor never existed.
Honestly, I was very disappointed by this feud. I felt like the pinned the two youngest contestants against each other, and made all 23-year-olds look bad. I had especially high hopes for Taylor at the beginning of the season. She really seemed like she was mature and had her life together — that turned to sh*t real quick. Also, Corinne turned into one of my favorite contestants of the season. She is hilarious and I love her DGAF attitude.
So, now that you're all caught up, what about Bachelor in Paradise? Although the promos don't tease this feud as a storyline, I have two guesses.
Disclaimer: These are my own obsessed fan theories, the show has not answered my tweets about this.
1. In the first episode, Corinne and Taylor will make an agreement to be civil and put all their issues behind them. Booooring, but it takes care of this issue nice and quick.
2. They continue to feud and talk a lot behind each other's backs. Although the same guy won't be after them (probably), I feel like one elimination will somehow involve the two of them. I hope to the highest producer power that, in some twist, Daniel has to choose between them.
Pretty insightful, huh? Thanks, this is what I do with my college degree. *silently sobs* I seriously can't wait to see what unfolds in Paradise. Don't miss the season premiere August 14 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.