Here's Why Calvin Harris Never Should Have Trusted Taylor Swift


I'm generally a pretty trusting person. As a general rule of thumb, I choose to trust people until they give me a concrete reason not to.

But there is one type of person I just can never bring myself to trust. Who are these scary monsters, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

I don't trust people who seem to have a new best friend every 15 seconds. People like Taylor Swift, for example. First, she's best friends with Katy Perry, then (OMG) it's Selena Gomez, then it's Karlie Kloss, then it's Blake Lively and God knows who's next.

If Calvin Harris followed my rule, he probably could have saved himself a lot of pain and heartache.

If you're not getting the Taylor reference, think about that girl from high school who STILL posts a new picture with her latest "best friend" every other day. Then you and your actual best friends take screenshots and throw them into your group chat with one of those good old fashioned "lols" that require no further explanation.

Why do I hate these people so much? Let me break it down for you.

First and foremost, they have no reverence for the sanctity of the term "best friend." Someone you met a couple weeks ago is simply not your best friend, just as someone whom you've been on three dates with is simply not your boyfriend. Calling someone your best friend that early on just makes me think you want the label more than you want the actual relationship.

Not to mention, it cheapens your other, more valid best friendships. You see, I'm not one of those people who thinks you can only have one best friend. I, myself, probably have 10 separate people I would honestly call my best friends. Every single one of them have been there for me through thick and thin, every single one of them will be a bridesmaid at my wedding and every single one of them have put countless hours and days and months and years into our friendships.

As fun as she might be and as much as we might have in common, to go calling my co-worker at my new job my "best friend" after two weeks of grabbing lunch together would be a giant slap in the face to all of my actual best friends.

The character flaw this person is ailed with is twofold. First, there's that obvious impulsivity. They can't just neutrally like someone and see where things go. No, they have to absolutely love them to the point where they become obsessed.

But, as I'm sure we've all (*cough* Calvin *cough*) learned at one point or another, people who fall in love that easily have a tendency of falling out of it just as quickly.

Then, there's the obsession with labels and making things "official" that inevitably leads to the whole social media obsession. Oh yeah, that's another thing about people like this. You can never tell if their friendships are real or some sort of giant social media campaign to prove to the world they do, in fact, have friends. They're the sorts of people who don't think of something as real until they have the approval of others.

These people can't just be in a relationship. No, they need to make it "Facebook official." These people can't just get flowers from their boyfriend. No, they need to post a picture of the bouquet on Instagram (synced to Facebook and Twitter, obviously).

These people can't just shop with their best friend. No, they have to live snap the entire experience. These people can't just enjoy a Fourth of July with their best friends. No, they need to post eight Instagrams to make sure the world knows they have friends and have "fun."

Yeah, I went there.

No matter what type of relationship you have with people like this, the simple fact you are two people who love each other and enjoy each other's company will just never be enough. They'll pursue you until they have you, publicize their conquest to the world on social media for however long you can hold their attention and then move onto the next exciting pursuit.

They're probably not the sort of person you want to be dating.