Feel free to start your summer late, but I'm not missing one second of the only season that lets the dreamers among us wear shorts to work.
If Cal's last release -- "Side" featuring Frank Ocean and Migos -- is the song you'll blast while burning your skin off at the beach, "Heatstroke" is the song you're going to throw up in the bushes to on the Fourth of July this year (aww!).
We're all ready for summer. This winter wasn't even that brutal (right, east coasters?), but winter is for sad jerks and summer is for manic pixie dream assholes: Neither option is amazing, but anyone in their right minds is going to choose the latter.
"Heatstroke" will do a bang-up job of getting you psyched for a summer of festivals, oceanside naps and relentless, disgusting sweating.
Remember having sex last summer? Sweltering. Repulsive. Truly horrifying.
I refused to buy an air conditioner for my bedroom well into August, not only because I'm poor and lazy, but to test hookups re: how badly they really wanted a piece of this ass.
Ah, yes. Summer truly is just as bad as every other season, but at least we have new music to look forward to and, in another month or two, day drinking will suddenly be considered marginally more acceptable.
Pool party deaths!
Hot pee smell!
Ice cream diarrhea!
Swimsuit chub rub!
Summer crime spike!
Summer blockbusters that all star Wolverine for some reason!
There's just so much to look forward to.