The Weed Awards: Here Are The Best Marijuana Films In Cinema History

by The Kind
Universal Pictures

Let's sit back and enjoy some excellence in weed films over the years.

First off, let's get to one of the best weed movies of all time: "The Wackness." This charming tale -- OK, I'm kidding. "The Wackness" f*cking sucks.

Yet, somehow, it ends up on all lists of good weed movies because, I don't know, there's a lot of weed in there, and it's like, what, early 90's Brooklyn? OK, fine, but it's as boring as golf. "The Wackness" gets zero fake awards from me.

F*ck that movie. Olivia Thirlby is alright, though.

Anyway, moving on...

Best Picture That Let's You Temporarily Forget Sean Penn Is A Giant Ass

And the Oscar goes to..."Fast Times At Ridgemont High." Ah, what a delightful film.

It's got laughs; it's got thrills; it's got drugs, and more importantly, it has Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

It's a movie so enjoyable, that as you watch iconic marijuana enthusiast Spicoli battle Mr. Hand, you can easily forget the actor playing him is a loud, violent blowhard who takes himself very, very seriously.

Best Picture That Is Actually A Pretty Great Movie But Quoted Too Often By Not Very Great People

And the Oscar goes to..."Dazed and Confused." You know what I'm talking about. (Close runner-up? "The Big Lebowski.")

Best Truly Heartfelt And Honest Depiction Of Post-Collegiate Life While Also Being A Movie About The 80's Without Hitting You Over The Damn Head About It The Entire Time

And the Oscar goes to... "Adventureland." A bunch of aimless post-grads waste their summer away at the local amusement, park sparking j's and trying to fight off their suburban malaise.

Excellently crafted in the hands of Greg Mottola, it also boasts a stellar soundtrack that's not all the usual suspects.

Best Stoner Film That Achieves New Heights In Artistic Quality And Represents A Peak In Cinematic Expression, Straight Up Trouncing "Citizen Kane" Or "Last Tango In Paris" Or Whatever The Heck They're Shoving Down Film Students' Throats These Days

And the Oscar goes to..."Dude, Where's My Car?" And f*ck you if you disagree.

"Dude, Where's My Car?" is one of the best films ever made that not only explores the silly entanglements of a doofy stoner friendship, but also tackles the perplexities of space and time travel, of lust and love, of pride and, yes, of prejudice.

Those who can not enjoy this stupid movie likely have all kinds of sticks jammed up in their asses -- way up there, wayyyyyyy way up there. They're the kind of people who iron their socks and only do missionary.

Best Underrated, Kickass Weed Action Flick

And the Oscar goes to..."American Ultra."

For some reason, either not enough people saw this or just assumed it was another dumb attempt at the ol' "socially inept stoner gets thrown into high stakes crime bullsh*t" gag, but this one goes off like gangbusters and is a thoroughly enjoyable ride from start to finish.

Plus, Connie Britton! Come on, man! Connie!

Best All-Around Classic, Ridiculous and Vulgar Dorm Room AF Stoner Movie

And the Oscar goes to..."Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle." Damn, an icon in the genre!

This movie still rips. Kind of a drag to watch the impetus of Neil Patrick Harris' second wind, which, from this film, kind of solely stood upon the whole "lol, he's saying gross masc hetero sh*t, but it's funny cause he's gay!" thing.

Outside of that, you've got a hilarious misadventure any late-night blazer can relate to.

Best Picture Despite Its Clunky Production And Awkward Pacing

And the Oscar goes to..."Smiley Face."

There are a handful of wrinkles in this movie, which could do with any number of things like low-budget acting, an imperfect script, rough editing... But, in spite of all that, it's still one of the best weed movies in the game.

Wholly unique and original in its point of view, it also showcases one of America's truest gems: Anna Farris. The fact that Anna Farris didn't receive 32 goddamn Oscars for this role, regardless of how Oscars work, is a crime on par with treason, and shall be punished as such.

...By me. Right now. Gotta go.

Best Picture Out of All The Seth Rogen-Judd Apatow yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the usual stoner-frat-bro scene 'cause, man, there's so many of them, and most of them are pretty good, but um, what was I saying? Oh sh*t, yeah...

And the Oscar goes to..."Pineapple Express."

You could even cut this film down to just the opening scene with Bill Hader and it'd still rank.

This post was originally written by Alan Hanson for The Kind.

Citations: Weed Oscar Winners 2016: The full List (The Kind)