... And by "rest easy," what I mean is having raging nightmares about being touched in an uninvited way designed to cause discomfort and on national television by a total stranger! HOORAY!
All eyes have been on Jonathan ever since Chris Harrison announced the cast on Facebook live, as he claimed his profession was a "Tickle Monster."
If you were like me, you were holding your breath in hopes to find out he's maybe the voice behind Tickle-Me Elmo, bringing joy and laughter to children everywhere!? Or the inventor of a cool new massage machine that won him millions of dollars on Shark Tank!? Or literally ANYTHING besides what it ended up being -- just a man, standing in front of girl, asking her to love him, by literally rubbing his hands all over her torso after making sure she closed her eyes.
So. Now we know.
Some other fun facts Jonathan would like us to know about him, as listed on his ABC bio, include the fact that Elvis Presley, Britney Spears and Flo Rida are his favorite music artists and that he has previously been married. Oh, and that he lasts a while in bed.
Great, Tickle Monster, great.
Rachel's initial first impression seemed to be, I DON'T KNOW, nervous laughter? She straight up pushed him away, that was for sure. He said he wanted to make sure she got at least one laugh that night, but I think it was more of like an, "AHHH WHAT IS HAPPENING GUESS I'LL LAUGH CAUSE I'M ON NATIONAL TV."
Once the Tickle Monster walked away, Rachel looked at the producers and said, "He tickled me!"
Girl. We saw. We all saw. Hang in there.