First dates can be overwhelming. First off, people just call it "hanging out" so often now, I'm not sure if I'm on a date or just making a new friend. Plus, after every first date, I always ask myself, "Will there be a second date?" And then come all my pre-date questions. Is my crush going to pick me up, or am I going to meet them there? Are we going to split the bill, or will they pay? Are they going to try to kiss me? Am I talking too much? Can they tell that I'm sweating? Am I laughing too loud?
But on the flip side, there are the other first dates that seem magical and go so smoothly. You meet someone whom you feel like you've known forever. You feel like you can just be yourself. You only sweat a limited amount, and your crush doesn't care. They think your obnoxious laugh is cute, and when the bill comes, you don't stress out. If this is how your first date goes, then you know you're definitely ready to see your crush again.
So if you end up feeling these four things on a first date, then you're sure to be ready for a second one. Do any of these seem familiar to you?
1. You Feel You Can Be Yourself
When you find a person you can let your freak flag fly with, never let them go. Being comfortable with someone else is a rarity in this world. So often, we want to put on appearances, look cool, be attractive, and show others the Instagram version of our lives. But in a romantic relationship, you want to be able to let yourself go and be emotionally and physically vulnerable. How amazing is it when things feel easy and simple between you and your partner?
So if you find someone who gets your jokes, loves your quirks, and accepts you for all your faults and insecurities, then keep them around. Say yes to that second date. Because there's no better gift in this world than getting to be yourself with someone else.
2. You Feel Sexual Chemistry
Sexual chemistry on a first date is so important for differentiating your relationship from just friendly to romantic. If your partner was affectionate to you, whether it was a hand on the small of your back, holding hands, a sweet compliment, or a goodnight kiss, then those are all signs that (if you're interested) you should give a second date a shot.
I've been on first dates where I've felt like the guy's sister, and it's left me feeling confused and rejected. If your crush had the guts to show you that they're into you as more than a friend, then it shows a level of vulnerability and confidence that's worth pursuing.
3. You Feel An Emotional Connection
Did you and your partner talk about things that actually matter? Did they ask you questions, and try to find out who you really are? Did you discuss friends, family, career, or mutual hobbies?
If you want your date to move into relationship territory, and not friends-with-benefits zone, then it's important to make sure your relationship is more than physical on the first date. While flirting is important, and sexual chemistry is necessary to establish a romantic connection that's more than friendly, it's also important to connect on an emotionally vulnerable level.
Because if you glazed over the important stuff, then your date might just be trying to stick to the surface, not trying to invest any real effort in a relationship with you. And if this is the case, do you really want a second date with them anyway?
4. You Feel Respected
I've felt disrespected on first dates before and known automatically that I didn't want a second one to occur. Once, I showed up to a bar for a first date with a guy I was really excited to meet. When I told him I didn't drink (I'm fine sipping on a Diet Coke while he drinks whatever), he told me he never would have gone out with me had I told him I was sober and that I was wasting his time.
I'd never been talked to like that by a stranger before, and I was really taken aback. One hour ago, you wanted to date me... until you found out I don't want to drink vodka with you?
If your date shows respect for your likes, dislikes, needs, preferences, and exhibits proper boundaries that make you feel safe and comfortable, then it's a good sign that you should give this person another chance. In a digital dating era, it's rare to find partners who treat you as unique individuals and with care and respect. If you find someone like this, consider spending a little more time getting to know them.
You can always pretty much tell in your gut if a first date is going to lead to a second. Additionally, if someone asks you out again immediately after your first meeting with them, it's a good indicator that any feelings you felt are mutual. So if you're wondering if your first date could or should lead to a second, trust your instincts. When it comes to dating, your intuition is usually your best bet.
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